A tourist-orientated town in the South of England, with a population of 50,000.
The young people of Salisbury can be divided into three main groups: pikey
s and the posh
Salisbury's pikeys are the most visible group, usually seen roaming the town in packs. They are indigenous to the Friary and Bemerton Heath, but are known to go to McDonalds and Burger King in order to feed. Other popular points of congregation include Tesco Metro, Poundland and the Library Steps.
The squaddies are usually only visible on Saturday nights, trying to pick up 18-year-old posh girls in Whiterooms and fighting each other and pikeys. The rest of the week they are busy invading Third World
nations, shooting people and feeling good about themselves for it.
The posh kids spend most of their time either at one of the town's two grammar schools or at one of the copious private schools. At these institutions they learn how to vote for the Conservative Party as well as the art of banter
. In their spare time they drink tea in Starbucks or Nero, or smoke undersized spliff
s in the Cathedral Close. At the age of 18 or 19, almost all posh kids emigrate to "classier" (read: preppier) locales such as Oxford
. The Guild Hall Steps are a meeting point for posh kids with identity crises and lack of direction in life.
Don't fucking go to Salisbury Wiltshire.