5 definitions by Leatherlaird

Top Definition
A verb referring to a person receiving fellatio, cunnilingus or anal sex while in a seated position on the face of a person with facial hair growing above his top lip. The person with a moustache is usually a man but can also be a Italian or Puerto Rican woman or any geriatric female without a pair of tweezers and willing tongue.
Cowboys are experts in stache rides.

Those old broads at the nursing home would be able to give an excellent stache ride if I were into that sort of thing.
by Leatherlaird July 03, 2009
Don't even both try talking to that guy at the gym with the killer six pack. He's just another bitter beauty too lost in the mirror to give workout tips or his phone number.

You're not even in that bitter beauty's league, dude. She'll shoot you down with a look before you even get close enough to see her eye color.

The new dance club was packed with drunken bitter beauties providing their usual false hope of getting laid that night or even a mercy date.
by Leatherlaird July 03, 2009
Defined as sperm deposited by ejaculation into the anus during anal sex and then act of defecating and flushing the toilet. A gross reference to a bodily function resulting in the sperm being flushed down the john with the feces after anal sex. Usually a gay man or a woman can take the children for a swim.
He knew she was the right one when he found out not only could she cook, she had manners too. She could take it up the ass like a pro and told me she would take the children for a swim so she wouldn't ruin my new 600 thread count sheets.

Gay guys are so lucky because they don't have to worry about getting knocked up. After sex they take the children for a swim and don't have to worry about hearing those sobering words, I missed my period.
by Leatherlaird July 03, 2009
The consequence and motivating factor of career choices in adults when they are humiliated in childhood by stuffing them in lockers, yanking their shorts down in gym class or revealing their masturbatory practices or bed wetting secrets in a public gatherings. Runt Rage usually begins with fantasies of revenge and results in employment in careers with authority such as law enforcement, security guards, IRS auditors, librarians and office managers. Symptoms of runt rage begin early with control-freak like behavior manifesting as teacher's pets, hall monitors, blackboard technician, tattletales, honor society, student council officers, exclusive or intellectual clubs and continue into adulthood as office brown-nosers, vice presidents of anything, special interest groupies, moral majority organizations, religious extremists, government employees, neighborhood watches, probation officers and soccer moms. This condition is not exclusive to runts in any way.
The cop who pulled me over and gave me a ticket for my tail light being out definitely has runt rage.

That bitch of an office manager waits by the elevator everyday to catch late employees. I think her runt rage is showing again.

I just love when the company vice president, who hasn't had an original idea in years, demonstrates his obvious runt rage by taking credit for someone else's ideas.
by Leatherlaird July 03, 2009
A slang for sexual intercourse describing a penis as a candle wick and quickly inserting into any orifice for sexual release. The penis can be inserted into the mouth, anus or vagina.
That horny cowboy at the bar asked me if Friday night was a good time to dip your wick in this town.

You ain't living well as a guy until you dip your wick in some strange once in awhile.

Your date I fixed you up with said you could dip your wick for ten bucks extra, but no kissing.
by Leatherlaird July 03, 2009

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