Extremely thick-lensed eyeglasses, commonly worn by nerdy, socially awkward people. If you look straight at someone who is wearing cokes, it appears as if their eyes are either larger or way smaller than they actually are. This is due to light refraction through the deep glass. Popular in decades past, eyeglass technology has come far enough that no one needs to be subjected to it anymore.
"Carl wore the worst cokes i've ever seen. He was really bad."
"I can't keep a straight face when looking at our science teacher, man, she's got cokes like it ain't no joke!"
"I feel kinda bad about it now, but when i was fighting with Sid i hit him hard in the eye and broke his cokes."
The act of standing and/or stancing in a manner such that one leg is slightly bent and turned out at the heel, whilst the other is completely, ridiculously straight. The knee should be 100% locked. Straight leg may also be accompanied by a hand on the hip, and a slight bend forward at the waist. Practitioners can often be seen at the miniature golf course, as well as family events.
"Damn, did you notice that Uncle Jer has the wickedest straight leg today?"
"I've got to run, i've been standing at this pay phone for so long now that i may have induced permanent straight leg."
"After i called her a ho she slapped me so i gave her a slice of straight leg and walked out on her ass."
A plastic grocery or pharmacy bag, blown endlessly about at a short distance off the ground. Observing said bag may empart feelings of beauty and whimsicality. Commonly seen on street corners in the city of Detroit.
"Dude, look at that Ricky Fitz Bag, isn't it beeeaauutifuwl...."
"If i see another Ricky Fitz Bag today im going to punch someone's face"
Puffy, giant hi top shoes from the 1980's such as McGregors or early Nike basketball shoes. The laces must come up the front to an impossible height, and the top forms almost a cup around the ankle. A velcro strap or three is sometimes found on the more advanced models. Another great example of a muffin shoe is the original Reebok Pump.
"Man, I found a great pair of Asics muffins at the dime store on saturday!"
"Good lordy will you look at the tongue on those muffin shoes! He could whistle Dixie with those things..."
"I got a new pair of shoes to wear for work, but i'm not sure i like them; they look a little muffin-ey"
"You going to the moon on those muffins?"
"Dude, forget school, let's hit the flea market and check out the muffin shoes."
"My dad needs a new look. He's been wearing the same pair of muffin shoes since 1986."
A photard is that one person in the high school yearbook that didn't make it for photo day, and wound up with a photographic framing, lighting, or exposure situation that does not match the other several hundred photos in the book. Ironically enough, those students that are socially awkward, nerdy, and/or wear thick coke-bottle glasses often end up as photards.
"I can't believe i wound up being a photard AGAIN this year. Man i'm pissed off."
"Is it me, or is Brigette's picture sliiiighty photarded?"
The condition of having face. A strong look, an open mouth, harsh staring, grouchy expressions, almost anything can grounds for a face. A facing is when one is called out for having face. To face someone, you simply note that they have face, and say "FACE" at them very loud and stern.
Another common condition is having either too little or too much face. This is more of a permanent thing, and refers to one's actual facial structure and "look". Examples of too much face would be bushy eyebrows, wild eyes, cro-magnon brow, a severly defined jowel, etc. Examples of too little face are beady eyes, closely spaced eyes, thin lips, tiny noses, bland expressions, etc.
"You've got face."
"She's a fun girl to date occasionally, but she has a little bit too much face for me to think about getting serious with her."
"Larry was in a bad mood today at work, and was facing everyone."
"I got faced, hard."
Middle Age Butt. A phenomenon in which a woman's ass explodes in size dramatically, over a short period of time. This specific type of enlarged butt can be identified as being much longer vertically than it is wide. Commonly found strapped into dime store-caliber jeans such as Riders, with the waist pulled up high above the belly button. Seen from the profile angle, MAB will not curve out sexily like a badunkadunk, it will lay flat and tall along the back. Also known as mom-butt and mom jeans
. It should be noted that the wearing of mom jeans can also be the sole cause of front butt
(a butt in the front, below the belly button.)
Damn that lady has some serious frikkin' MAB!