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10 definitions by Larry Finster

 
1.
A measuring tool that many guys use to quantitatively compare the hotness of girls on a 10 point scale. While girls may do this to, men are notorious for having consistent and somewhat harsh scales. The scale is a harsh scale, since there is no real thing as a perfect 10, and fairly attractive girls are given scores that are what they may seemingly deserve. For example, Kirsten Dunst would probably only recieve a 6.5 or 7. This is a fair rating. The minimum rating that most men would consider fucking is a 4.
EX-

A: Dude I would totally bone that chick, she's a 6.5.
B: Are you blind? She is a 4, far below fucking standards on the hotness scale.
by Larry Finster December 28, 2009
 
2.
A person who is absolutely perfect on a scale of attractiveness, from 1 to 10. Most people agree that there is no such thing as a perfect 10, and that ratings usually only go up to about 9.7 or so.
Randy: Dude, Megan Fox is totally a perfect 10!

Willy: Nah man, she may be the hottest ever, but she is still only a 9.5.
by Larry Finster December 28, 2009
 
3.
A slightly more sophisticated way of referring to the scrotum (ball sack). Often used in a threat of being hit in the balls.
Ted: Man you really suck at Wii.

Ralphie: You better shut up, or I'll give you a good whap to the Testes Satchel!

Bob: Why are you clutching your pants like that?

Bill: My Testes Satchel is still sore from being sacked yesterday.
by Larry Finster December 27, 2009
 
4.
An exclamation of anger, frustration, tiredness, or sometimes even joy. Shit Balls can be taken to mean one of two things:

1) Balls or testicles that are coated or encrusted in shit.

2) Small amounts of feces clumped into balls
Larry: Sorry man, I can't give you a ride today.

Ricky: Aw, Shit Balls! Now I have to walk!

Larry: Suck one.
by Larry Finster December 26, 2009
 
5.
A monthly physiological process occurring in certain males that involves one of the testicles retracting up into the pubic region. This is the male counterpart to a menstrual cycle and sexual intercourse is not enjoyable during Ball Cycle. Men are usually more sensitive about their Ball Cycle than women are about their period. This is why jokes are so seldom made about Ball Cycle.
Bob: Dude, you should totally get your chick to blow you tonight!

Bill: Nah dude, it's that time of the month. I'm on my Ball Cycle.

Bob: Man, that sucks! I got mine last week.
by Larry Finster December 22, 2009
 
6.
When someone or something prevents or interrupts a wild session of jacking off, in any of three ways:

1) Something preventing jacking off from occurring, i.e. your dad won't get off the computer or go to bed, so you can't get on and look at porn.

2) You have a mental block and have trouble imagining sex in your mind.

3) If you are already jacking off, and someone walks in at the worst moment, just as you are about to cum. This can either end with an abrupt ejaculation which is not pleasurable and hard to conceal, or the orgasm stops completely. The second way can lead to a nasty case of blue balls.
A: Dude I was jacking off last night and my mom scared the jizz out of me when she walked in!"

B: That sucks dude. Total jacking block.
by Larry Finster December 29, 2009
 
7.
A particularly meaningless insult which describes a person as a wafer or cookie that was baked with shit or crap as a main ingredient. This insult is generally used when someone has no better name to call someone.
"You know what, you're just a crap wafer!"
by Larry Finster December 24, 2009