, a Frenchman
, and a Czech
are out exploring, and they're captured by cannibals. The king of the cannibals says
"We're going to eat you now, because we're cannibals and that's what we do. But we're not savages like we used to be, so we're not going to torture you for three days first...in fact, you can kill yourselves
any way you like, we don't care."
The explorers all look rather crestfallen at this news, and the chief hastens to reassure them: "Oh, I know what you're thinking
, we've seen it before---you're thinking your
life has been
, you're going to die out here
for nothing, and so on. Well, let me assure you, that just isn't true. We'll use your
skin to make
hair to make
twine, and we'll eat every edible part of you. So really, it's not a waste
at all. Now, please get on with it."
The Frenchman says
"vive la france", and slits his throat.
The Englishman takes
his gun, says
the Queen", and shoots himself in the head.
The Czech pulls
out a fork and starts stabbing himself---first in the thigh (ouch!), then in the side (yow!), then in the lower leg (argh!)...finally the king of the cannibals says
"My god, what are you doing??!!"
And the Czech
stabs himself with the fork again and says