Mello, birth name being Mihael Keehl, is a character in the anime and manga, Death Note
. He's almost always eating chocolate and wearing black leather. Why he wears leather is beyond me. From personal experience, I find that it leaves me sweaty and uncomfortable while wearing leather. But whatever, I guess. I read somewhere that it's Mello's way of soliciting for gay sex, which I tend to believe. Onto the story…
After being told by Roger (a massive douche) that L had been killed by Kira (Light bulb Imagay), Mello promptly threw a hissy fit. He had to force himself to calm down and stop stomping on Near
's puzzle to ask who L had chosen as a successor. When he was told that L had decided to be a lazy slacker and not choose ANY of the Wammy children to be his successor, Mello went batshit insane and joined the mafia.
In order to gain ranks in the mafia, he had to become the mafia boss's whore and take it up the ass quite often. Mello inherited the Mr. Badass Mafia Boss's position when said Mafia boss's penis disintegrated inexplicably. To save himself embarrassment and shame, he left his mafia-related responsibilities in Mello's incompetent hands and fled to Holland.
A few important things about Mello: He is always PMSing and eating mass amounts of chocolate. Yeah, like...always. His father was Willy Wonka, which makes Willy Wonka a deadbeat dad. Mello’s f...
Ryuk is a Shinigami
in the series, Death Note
. He has these, like, freaky-ass yellow eyes with red irises. His mouth is huge, so it looks like he's always smiling. He's kind of like The Joker
that way. His head looks tiny compared to the rest of his freakishly tall body. Needless to say, he isn't all that popular with the girls.
So, anyway, Ryuk was bored. He dropped a supernatural notebook outside of an equally bored high school student's school. Light Imagay saw it fall from the sky and decided to retrieve the fucking thing.
Ryuk's mission was then accomplished. He now had a pet, and what an adorable pet Imagay proved to be. So cute, how he attempted to rid the world of scum and be the God of the New World.
Ryuk was enraptured with the way Light ate his potato chips, guiltlessly killed so many people, jacked off to soft core porn, and indulged in the joys of Spaceland. It was an intelligent move for the Shinigami, to drop his Death Note in the human world. This definitely proved to be much more fun than trying to seduce Rem, who everyone knows is a lesbian. That didn't stop those horny Shinigami, though.
Back to the story.
Yeah, so, some epic shit went down after L died at the Yellow Box Warehouse. Wait...what the fuck? Is that a misplaced modifier? Sorry. Shit went down at the Y...
A coma is a state of prolonged unconsciousness, which can be caused by one of many, many things. Many people believe that even if a person is in a coma, s/he can still hear you if you speak to him/her.
"Hey there, Grandma. I hope you wake up from that dreadful coma soon. I miss your cooking--"
"I'm going to spray some whipped cream up your asshole, and THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT! Haw haw haw!"
Nyarg is a magical word. You can use it as a reply to basically anything. Seriously.
Bella: "Edvard, we is married nao. Please penetrate my virgin entrance. Tee hee hee!" ^_^
Upon casting his creepy, yellowish eyes on his new wife, Edtard observes that she has already pealed her fucking wedding dress off. Edtard, being the flaming homosexual he is (he fucking SPARKLES and has never once dated a girl before Bella), sees her perky, high school girl breasts, and is suddenly disgusted.
Edtard: "Nyarg." ಠ_ಠ
Fortunately, he was able to get through the hot and sweaty night by thinking of a wild threesome between himself, Emmett, and Jasper as he violently pounded into his new wife, who, unbenownst to him, had a shattered pelvis and was suffering from internal bleeding.
It's a Breaking Dawn spoiler! Sorry, to any of you angry Twitard
s! I suppose I should have warned you earlier.
It can also be used when you have nothing else to say, because sometimes when you need a moment, you don't always have Twix.
Jane: "Dick...I-I have something to tell you. I've been thinking about it for awhile, and...well..."
Dick: "Yes? What is it, my sweet little bran muffin?"
Jane: "I...I love you, Dick!"
Additionally, 'nyarg' can be used when choking on the aforementioned bran muffin.
Dick: "Yeah, so, mmph...yum. Anyway, after looking at some rather delicious hentai, I--"
Carlos: "Hey, what's with the wei...
The cooking of excrement.
"Honey, it's your turn for cooking duty this week!"