37 definitions by Klopek007

A concept unwittingly invented by the late Tim Russert during coverage of the 2000 U.S. Presidential Election. For details, see the individual definitions red state and blue state.

Besides the fact that the colors are the opposite of the rest of the world, the absolute most irritating thing about the red state blue state concept is how it polarizes Americans. Originally, it was only referring to the electoral college, but since then the terms have become part of popular culture. They imply that all citizens within a certain state, which is defined by arbitrary lines on a map, are all generally in agreement with each other, politically speaking.

This is of course ridiculous. Most of the time, the margin of victory in individual states in a Presidential election is not profoundly large. It's quite rare that either of the two main candidates receives less than 1/3rd of the vote in any given state. It's also quite common for a state of a certain "color" to elect other politicians from the opposite party (as mayor, governor, senate, etc.). Add to that the fact that voter turnout hasn't gone over 63% in the last 100 years, and it's easy to see how asinine it is to group together all citizens of a certain state.
I despise the red state blue state concept. It damages our individual identity, our state pride, and our comradery with our fellow Americans. There are plenty of conservatives in New England, plenty of liberals in the South, and tons of moderates all over the place. I'm not from a red state or a blue state, I'm from an American state! So please stop over-generalizing and assigning labels to us!
by klopek007 March 03, 2010
Plumper is a term used by women who want to feel good about their unhealthy obesity because they're too lazy to diet and exercise. Unfortunately for them, they won't have very long to enjoy feeling good about being fat, as they will likely be dead from a massive coronary before the age of 50.
It's no surprise that the term plumper was invented in the United States. Because, sadly, we have BY FAR the highest obesity rate on the planet. And instead of solving the problem, we invent terms like this so that people feel good about themselves, even when they get winded by waddling to the freezer for their daily quart of ice cream.

On the upside, those of us in decent shape are becoming more of a rarity, and are therefore more desirable and sought after than the fat masses.
by klopek007 May 20, 2008
An attempt by atheists to mock anyone that disagrees with them. The basic concept is a response to the logical statement: "it is impossible to prove the non-existence of a deity or deities." Essentially, supporters of the FSM concept state that it's also impossible to prove the non-existence of something completely arbitrary and ridiculous, such as a flying spaghetti monster, and thus there's no reason to believe in the FSM just for that reason alone.

Obviously the argument is extremely weak and doesn't really hold water. But what's disturbing is the utter contempt, disrespect, and intolerance (and in some cases, hatred) these people have for anyone that disagrees with them. They refuse to go by the principles of live-and-let-live and do-unto-others. They will counter this assertion by arguing that religious people never live-and-let-live and are always forcing religion onto people. This is of course false, and only applies to a very small minority of religious people (such as the nutjobs at the WBC) and thus is a prime example of smearing people with a vastly over-generalized statement.

Most won't admit it, but they resent the fact that most modern nations allow freedom of religion for all. Ultimately, they would like to see this right taken away someday.
The flying spaghetti monster concept is just one of very many examples of the hateful mockery that some (but certainly not all) atheists direct at religious people, which has become rampant in our society in recent decades. This frightening level of contempt, intolerance, and hatred is eerily similar to the attitudes in Germany towards Jews in the decades leading up to the Holocaust. Of course, your average German citizen would never have believed you if you told them what was eventually going to happen.
by klopek007 January 26, 2010
Another word for "fat".
She told me that her friend was voluptuous, and she could fix me up with her. I said no thanks.
by Klopek007 July 09, 2006
An example of political correctness run amok. The idea is to replace the terms BC and AD (Before Christ and Anno Domini) with the secular terms BCE and CE (Before Common Era and Common Era). Common Era may also be referred to as Christian Era or Current Era.

The change is completely pointless, except to placate the politically correct crowd. The numbering of years is kept the same, but the terms are changed to avoid association with Christianity, and evidentily pretend like the numbering of years started arbitrarily. The numbering comes from the estimated birth of Jesus. For the sake of ease and convenience, the entire world has adopted the Christian calender, regardless of what religion or non-religion we all are, so why pretend otherwise?

If the politically correct crowd really wants to make a completely secular calender, then we'd also have to do away with the names of the months (Roman Paganism), having seven days a week (Judaism), and re-number the years by placing year 1 somewhere different than it is now (Christianity).
Don't try to tell me to use that BCE and CE crap. It's BC and AD, regardless of what you believe or disbelieve. If you don't like it, then feel free to persuade the entire population of the world to adopt a brand new, completely overhauled calender.
by klopek007 March 02, 2010
FSM
Flying Spaghetti Monster. An attempt by atheists to mock anyone that disagrees with them. The basic concept is a response to the logical statement: "it is impossible to prove the non-existence of a deity or deities." Essentially, supporters of the FSM concept state that it's also impossible to prove the non-existence of something completely arbitrary and ridiculous, such as a flying spaghetti monster, and thus there's no reason to believe in the FSM just for that reason alone.

Obviously the argument is extremely weak and doesn't really hold water. But what's disturbing is the utter contempt, disrespect, and intolerance (and in some cases, hatred) these people have for anyone that disagrees with them. They refuse to go by the principles of live-and-let-live and do-unto-others. They will counter this assertion by arguing that religious people never live-and-let-live and are always forcing religion onto people. This is of course false, and only applies to a very small minority of religious people (such as the nutjobs at the WBC) and thus is a prime example of smearing people with a vastly over-generalized statement.

Most won't admit it, but they resent the fact that most modern nations allow freedom of religion for all. Ultimately, they would like to see this right taken away someday.
The FSM concept is just one of very many examples of the hateful mockery that some (but certainly not all) atheists direct at religious people, which has become rampant in our society in recent decades. This frightening level of contempt, intolerance, and hatred is eerily similar to the attitudes in Germany towards Jews in the decades leading up to the Holocaust. Of course, your average German citizen would never have believed you if you told them what was eventually going to happen.
by klopek007 February 03, 2010
How to have a successful career in comedy with minimal effort or talent. Just follow these simple steps:

1. Hire a team of talented joke writers.
2. Take credit for their jokes and deliver them in a much-too-excited voice.
3. Show a video clip of a politician saying something fairly innocuous and mundane.
4. After the clip, stare at the camera with an incredulous-but-shrewd look on your face.
5. Maintain this look as the audience wets themselves with laughter.
6. Repeat steps 3 thru 5 several times.
7. Bring on guests to interview. Rudely interrupt them often, and twist their words around.
8. Get paid more, and more, and more, as you draw in vast numbers of sheep-like viewers.
Man 1:
I'd love to have a career in comedy, but I'm just not really that talented.

Man 2:
No problem, just use the Jon Stewart formula!

Man 1:
Awesome idea! Thanks!
by klopek007 February 07, 2010

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