37 definitions by Klopek007

Achy Breaky Hannah is a name for the process which that hot little piece of jailbait Miley Cyrus and/or her pointless alter-ego will soon undergo. Following in the footsteps of Britney Spears, her weight will balloon up, she'll get knocked up by a trailer-trash wigger and drink heavily during the pregnancy, make numerous public appearances going commando in a short dress, enter/quit rehab at least five times, and finally be found in bed one morning with an empty bottle of pills and an empty bottle of rum.
Once Miley completes the long process of Achy Breaky Hannah, she'll just be yet another one of the garden-variety pop-stars who all sound exactly alike and yet somehow draw tons of pre-teen fans. At least it's still a bigger accomplishment than her one-hit-wonder father.
by klopek007 January 26, 2010
How to have a successful career in comedy with minimal effort or talent. Just follow these simple steps:

1. Hire a team of talented joke writers.
2. Take credit for their jokes and deliver them in a much-too-excited voice.
3. Show a video clip of a politician saying something fairly innocuous and mundane.
4. After the clip, stare at the camera with an incredulous-but-shrewd look on your face.
5. Maintain this look as the audience wets themselves with laughter.
6. Repeat steps 3 thru 5 several times.
7. Bring on guests to interview. Rudely interrupt them often, and twist their words around.
8. Get paid more, and more, and more, as you draw in vast numbers of sheep-like viewers.
Man 1:
I'd love to have a career in comedy, but I'm just not really that talented.

Man 2:
No problem, just use the Jon Stewart formula!

Man 1:
Awesome idea! Thanks!
by klopek007 February 07, 2010
In the opening days of February 2010, a person or persons unknown started a stupid new trend on facebook and myspace that swept through like an avalanche. Countless people posted the following status: "Go to urbandictionary.com, type in your first name, copy and paste this in your status and the first entry for your name under comments."

This resulted in a huge influx of traffic on UD, which bogged down the site and crashed it a few times, because everyone thought it was so cool to post a glowing definition of their first name, which was submitted by some asswipe years ago. Of course, none of these lame first name definitions should have been approved in the first place, as per the UD guidelines which so many people ignore.

And yet, the worst was not over. After this, countless people began submitting first name definitions, which fell into two categories: glowing definitions of oneself or a friend, or slanderous definitions of an enemy. It was up to the editors to ensure the future of UD....
Oh man, I remember staying up all night during the Great FB/MS Laming of UD Crisis of 2010, rejecting as many lame-ass self-serving first name definitions as I could. It seemed like they would never end. I only wish we could remove all the ones from years ago, but most have too many votes and are thus "too popular" to be nominated for removal.

Dumbass: OMG!!! This is soooo awesome! UD says I'm a wonderful, sexy, intelligent person! That's great, but I think I'll submit and even better and more specific one! And then a mean one about the girl that pushed me at recess today!

UD Editor: I'll reject them all. Please stop contributing to the Great FB/MS Laming of UD Crisis of 2010.

Dumbass: Noooo!!! I'm shallow and weak and I need this self-esteem boost!
by klopek007 February 05, 2010
Villain from the Harry Potter series. He is a dark lord, but contrary to popular belief, he is not THE Dark Lord. He has nowhere near the power or terror of Morgoth Bauglir or Sauron the Abhorred. He is also a total pussy when compared to Darth Sidious, Darth Vader, or frankly any darth.
Teenager: Voldemort is the greatest villain of all time!!!
Twentysomething adult: Yeah, sure he is....
by klopek007 February 21, 2010
When a candidate for public office calls herself a huge fan of the much-beloved local sports team, and then gives a radio interview where she states that a celebrated hero alumnus of the aforementioned team is a fan of the bitterly-hated rivalry team, thus costing herself countless votes from people who don't feel she's a true Masshole.
She really Coakleyed that election beyond any possible recovery when she called Curt Schilling a Yankees fan. She may be from Pittsfield, which is at the opposite end of the state from Boston, but that's no excuse . . . d'oh!
by klopek007 January 31, 2010
A term invented by angry atheists who suffer from anger management issues and superiority complex. It is a portmanteau of 'pugnacious' and 'atheism', although it is often mistakenly referred to as a contraction instead of a portmanteau, which should give some indication of the overall intelligence of those who say they practice it. The term means aggressive atheism, and is characterized by thinking oneself to be automatically superior to anyone who believes in any kind of religion, and feeling that it's necessary to verbally abuse such people. This is the opposite of using a "live and let live" attitude, and so they refuse to be tolerant of the life choices of others, even when those others are tolerant of the life choice of the atheist.
Hobbies of those who practice pugnatheism include, but are not limited to: making sweeping over-generalizations about various persons, groups, organizations, and even who geographic regions; complete and utter refusal to be tolerant of anyone whose beliefs or philosophies differ from your own; angrily arguing on internet forums with religious people in order to tell them how wrong and stupid they are instead of simply living your life enjoyably and letting them do the same; believing yourself to be such a brilliant genius that you know the exact nature of the universe and calculate with 100% accuracy that there couldn't possibly be anything besides what you can see with your own two eyes; and of course, practicing regular worship of Richard Dawkins.
by klopek007 November 16, 2009
YSJK = You Should Just Know. YSJK-itis is an infliction that can affect anyone, but it's seen most often in your girlfriend/fiancee/wife. It occurs when she's extremely pissed off at you and acting like a total bitch, but refuses to tell you why, because "you should just know."

The person afflicted is usually oblivious to the fact that the other person is completely unable to apologize or fix anything until they know what the problem is. Symptoms can persist for hours or even days.
Man 1: My girlfriend has just been insufferable lately, but no matter how I ask she refuses to tell me why.
Man 2: Sounds like she's suffering from YSJK-itis.
Man 1: Yeah, totally. I'd like to see women pull that shit with doctors or mechanics.
by klopek007 February 22, 2010

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