37 definitions by Klopek007

A musician of ambiguous gender, currently in direct competition with Susan Boyle for the title of Most Attractive New Singing Star. Boyle obviously has the edge on talent, but in terms of looks it's dead even.
I can't decide which of my senses is most offended by Lady Gaga: hearing or vision.
by klopek007 February 21, 2010
A long distance bandwagon fan is a specific variety of bandwagon fan. Typical bandwagon fans are local, they ignore the particular sport altogether when their local team is doing poorly, and suddenly become superfans when they're doing well. Meanwhile, long distance bandwagon fans will become superfans of any team in the country when they're doing well, and then just as quickly pick a different team when the tables are turned.

They are often spotted wearing team merchandise which is later donated to a thrift store. Just like the regular bandwagon fans, they will swear that they've always liked their current team du jure, and vehemently deny ever being a fan of any other team.
Some prime examples of teams with great numbers of long distance bandwagon fans are: San Francisco 49ers in the 80s, Edmonton Oilers in the 80s, Dallas Cowboys in the 90s, Chicago Bulls in the 90s, Atlanta Braves in the 90s and early 2000s, New York Yankees in the late 90s and 2000s, and Indianapolis Colts in the 2000s.

LDBF: I love the Yankees! Those are my boys and always have been! I'm soooooo lucky that my favorite team is so good!!!
REALIST: Yeah, ok. Luck has nothing to do with it. You live in Kansas, you've never travelled anywhere near New York, and somehow I doubt you can name the starting lineup. You're the epitome of a long distance bandwagon fan.
LDBF: Whatever, you're just jealous because my team rulez!!!
REALIST: Right, because it would be so difficult for me to buy a Yankees hat and start calling myself a fan. <rolls eyes>
by klopek007 January 24, 2010
A term used by:
-Girls who can't accept the fact that they're overweight.
-Guys who don't want to admit that they're attracted to fat girls.
-And anyone who's in denial about the fact that America has the highest obesity rate in the world, so we invent asinine terms like this so that fat people think it's ok to be fat, and pretend to be happy about being fat.
That girl calls herself "thickalicious" but her BMI (body mass index) tells us that she's "clinically obese". She should stop living in denial, go on a diet, and use the money she saves on food to buy some jogging shoes or a stairmaster or something.
by klopek007 May 19, 2008
A person who lives in the New York area, and often changes what pro sports teams they cheer for based on which ones are doing well. Each of the four major American sports has more than one New York area team: New York Yankees and New York Mets for baseball, New Jersey Jets and New Jersey Giants for football, New York Knicks and New Jersey Nets for basketball; and finally the New York Rangers, New York Islanders, and New Jersey Devils for hockey.

A New York sports opportunist will therefore choose to be a fan of whichever team is currently doing better in each sport. They will then act like they've always been a fan of that team, and vehemently deny ever liking another team in the same sport.

It's important to note that not ALL residents of the New York area are New York sports opportunists, but there are vast numbers of people that are.
NYSO: I love the Yankees! I've been a die hard Yankees fan all my life!
REALIST: No you haven't. You wore a Mets hat all through the 80s, and the first half of the 90s. Then suddenly you became a Yankees fan. That makes you a New York sports opportunist.
NYSO: No way, you're just jealous because my team rules!

NYSO: Woohoo! My Giants just ended the Patriots perfect season!
REALIST: Yeah, you weren't a Giants fan until a few weeks ago. I bet you can't even name five players on the team.
NYSO: Well... there's Eli Manning, and... uh....

NYSO: Well, the Nets aren't exactly great, but I'm so glad I like them instead of the Knicks, they really suck!
REALIST: Why do you have a listing on ebay for that autographed Patrick Ewing poster that used to be on your wall for so many years?
NYSO: I have no idea what you're talking about.

NYSO: I love the Devils, but I also bought a bunch of Rangers and Islanders merchandise and buried it in my closet. You know, just in case they ever get good again.
REALIST: Stop the presses.
by klopek007 January 23, 2010
Television series that's a thinly veiled attempt to capitalize on the success of High School Musical and American Idol. Annoying popular.
Girl: OMG!!! Did you see Glee last night?!?
Guy: No, and the next person that asks me will be sorry they did.
by klopek007 February 21, 2010
A specific type of transvestite, the executive transvestite is a male that likes to dress in women's clothing when the mood strikes, which can be quite often for some and more intermittent for others. The style of dress is more conservative than other types of transvestites, and thus will generally not include mini-skirts or revealing tops. Most are heterosexual, and can often best be described as male lesbians, whereas other varieties of transvestites are often sexually confused and ambiguous. As such, executive transvestites are generally less feminine than other transvestites, and the lifestyle can be metaphorically described as "running, jumping, climbing trees, and putting on make-up while you're up there."
Eddie Izzard is an excellent example of an executive transvestite, which is at the opposite end of the spectrum as the classic "fucking weirdo transvestite."
by klopek007 January 25, 2010
Supposedly meaning "big beautiful woman," it's a term used by extremely insecure obese women. The fact that they have to add the qualifier "beautiful" is evidence of what an insecure term it is. Have you ever head of a TBW or SBW, as in "thin or skinny beautiful woman"? Of course not, because when you have a healthy body, there's no need to add the word "beautiful" to protect your fragile self-esteem.

BBW is used by women who want to feel good about their unhealthy obesity because they're too lazy to diet and exercise. Unfortunately for them, they won't have very long to enjoy feeling good about being fat, as they will likely be dead from a massive coronary before the age of 50.
It's no surprise that the term BBW was invented in the United States. Because, sadly, we have BY FAR the highest obesity rate on the planet. And instead of solving the problem, we invent terms like this so that people feel good about themselves, even when they get winded by waddling to the freezer for their daily quart of ice cream.

On the upside, those of us in decent shape are becoming more of a rarity, and are therefore more desirable and sought after than the fat masses.
by klopek007 May 19, 2008
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