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118 definitions by Killing Kittens

 
15.
If spoken by a woman: "I Love the way I feel when you're paying attention to me."

If spoken by a man: "Let's have sex."
The only person who ever loved you was your mother.
by Killing Kittens April 28, 2005
 
16.
See instead High School.
"Middle School and High School are Hell. This hell is different for each person, of course, the length of time spent within is variable. Some emerge victorious, blossoming in college and beyond. Others emerge after a struggle, but are noticeably scarred. Others don't emerge at all, and carry their private hell with them to eternity.

Anyone who remembers these years as a positive, idyllic time is someone I cannot for the life of me relate to." --David E. Mitchell
by Killing Kittens October 03, 2005
 
17.
A deterministic philosophy used to justify selfish extremes and deny responsibility for personal actions, even if they bring harm to others. Those who are evil almost always rationalize their actions and often despise the terms "good" and "evil" because it is much easier to deny moral absolutes than it is to acknowledge them.

Theologically speaking, evil is said to be the absence of good, or more specifically mans isolation from God, brought about not through Gods will but mankinds own doing.
Human beings are not black and white, but good and evil are.
by Killing Kittens June 23, 2004
 
18.
The casualties of masturbation.
"Oh my god," Brandon said as he saw my bed, "This is a major site of kitten death!"
by Killing Kittens May 18, 2004
 
19.
The cause of all suffering.
Under no circumstances should one fuse desire and expectation, as that leads to hope, which prolongs suffering.
by Killing Kittens March 27, 2005
 
20.
A person with penises for eyes. Very inconvenient, as you can imagine, but perhaps they could be of use in the porn industry.
My friend Kevin once said to me, in a fit of drunken stupidity, "Dude, I wish my eyes were penises!"

Lo and behold, the fates decided to agree with his request and grant it in the most hideous manner possible, for when he awoke the next day, instead of gazing at the ceiling above him, an inflamed phallus emerged from each eyelid.

He soon found himself standing on street corners, destitude and holding up a cardboard sign that read "Please be my friend" while civilians passed by and laughed, for he couldn't hide his erections, and when limp, his new penis-eyes looked hideous as ever. Kevin sat down and began to weep, though it was naught but urine trickling down his cheeks.

Truly, a lesson is to be learned from all this: Be careful what you wish for!
by Killing Kittens October 20, 2004
 
21.
The delusion that your situation is not as objectively bad as it is.
Hope is the fruitless denial of the more realistic pessimism.
by Killing Kittens January 17, 2005