77 definitions by Kerb

To insufflate, that is, breathe in a line of powdered solid through a straw up one's nostril. Usu. applied to cocaine or ketamine.
He had to roll up a dollar bill to snort his K.
by Kerb November 28, 2004
Words on a sign at boundary of naturist beach, beyond which it becomes a criminal offence to wander about buck naked.
Billy eventually got the courage to remove his trunks at the clothing optional beach.
by Kerb November 29, 2004
Result of old aged pensioners on acid.

Four round furry creatures, that dance and babble in Telly Tubby land. They are:

Dipsy = green with a spike on head.
Laa-Laa = yellow with curly pig tail on head.
Po = Red with a small halo.
Tinky-Winky = purple with a purple coat hanger on head.

In Telly Tubby Land, the Sun is baby faced, always shining and gurgling. Whie trabbits much verdant grass and never shite. Or maybe Noo-Noo the giant vacuum cleaner eats rabbit shite.

Every half hour every day the windmill turns and flashes coloured sparks, and one of the TV stomach turns on and a little show usu. involving little children doing activity, this happens twice, then they prance about a bit, and they jump back into the dome.
Old Bertie ate his son's tabs and saw some telly tubbies.
by Kerb November 28, 2004
A sport where two teams of 15 men wrestle on the grass with an oval ball.
Players are usually big, 16 stones, and does not feel pain or cold.

Small skinny players tend to last only 5 minutes.
Robin played rugby yesterday and broke his teeth.
by Kerb November 27, 2004
A so-called hostess bar, with names like "Pink Pussy House", where a ugly skanky whore stands in the doorway attempting to attract the attention of a mark.

The mark, should he be seduced by "porno film showing" or "live sex right now", is charged £5 entry fee, and is led into the bar.

The bar is a badly decorated room, usually empty, with cheap tables, and reggae music playing in the background. The front girl returns to the front door.

An equally trashy ho waitress brings the mark a menu advertising a pint of beer for £4, glass of champagne for £10, basically drinks at double the local pub prices.

Mark buys pint of beer for £4, but get served a glass of watered down piss.

A large male then presents him with a bill for anything between £100-£500, depending on how rich Mark look.

If the mark haven't the cash on him, a second large male suddenly appear out of nowhere, and the two large men escorts the mark to the nearest cash machine, so that the mark can withdraw the cash.

They may not explicitly threaten violence, but look hard enough so as too discourage Mark not to mess about with them.

There are several in London. After ripped off tourists complain to Westminster Office of Fair Trading, an official accompanied by a vanload of police officers close down the place.

Magically, a few days later, another so-called hostess bar reopens under a new name, run by the same outfit.
Mark entered a clip joint and left with £375 lighter, and with an intense desire to kill one of those filthy hos.
by Kerb November 28, 2004
Anti Social Behaviour Order, used mainly against youths who annoy ordinary respectable people and workers.

These can be in the form of curfew orders, so yobs cannot hang out in the street at night. Also to prevent street drinking, thus preventing drunk and disorderly bahaviour. Also to prevent agressive beggars approaching strangers for money.

A method of containment, while a longer term method can be implemented to encourage young people off under-age drinking, drugs, and to get them to school, and then to gainful employment.
John got an ASBO, not to use abusive language.
by Kerb November 27, 2004
1. Poetry recited by a Vogon or by several Vogons, and is the third worst Poetry in the galaxy.

2. Any poetry recited in a slow repetitive lilt that goes on for eternity, and makes one want to yell at the poet, "Shut up!!!", scream, and punch him in the gob.
Ralph recited some poetry at the Arts Festival, and he went on and on and on, in a slow drawn-out lilt. After 15 minutes the audience got so fed up, shouted "Vogon Poetry!" and pelted him with rotten vegetables and used condoms.
by Kerb November 29, 2004
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