A substance excreted by nibblonians. It is the fuel source for rocket ships in the year 3000. Among the many astounding properties of dark matter is its incredible density, such that every pound of dark matter weighs over 1000 pounds.
Cop 1: Smells like a 289 in progress.
Cop 2: Failure to scoop, aww yeahh.
Fry (attempting to lift the dark matter poop): Wait, I'm trying! It weighs as much as a thousand suns!