"Today, I was drinking out of a cup with a straw. As I went for a sip, the straw went to the other side of the cup, so I decided to not use it. I went to take a regular sip, when the straw swung back around poked me in the eye. I'm sorry I offended you, Straw. MLIA."
"Today I visted my mom in her office at my school. Her boss' door was shut and had a sign on it that said "Do not enter or clean." I jokinly asked whose body was stashed in there. She looked at me with a concerned expression and asked if I could smell anything. I'm now slightly concerned. MLIA"