1 definition by Kalkazar

Top Definition
Emo is a subdivision of Goth, (which itself is a subdivision of Punk) and can usually be seen wearing tight clothing, itchy wool scarves (no matter how hot it is) black-and-white striped sweaters and hair that covers 3/5 of the face. There are four main categories of emo:

Emo Emo
These kids are the classic stereotype. Usually listens to (or writes) crappy music and writes even crappier poetry (these songs are usually about getting dumped, death or something else melancholy). Practices self-mutilation (the cutting of oneself) and is dismal as hell. The best way to deal with these emos is to either get them professional help or get them some sort of anti-depressant

Soap Opera Emo
Emos that over react to everything. they don't get happy, they get estatic. they dont get sad, they get suicidal. In short, these emos are huge drama king, (or as they put it "Extreamly Emotional") and are okay people but can get realy anoying.

Happy Emo
An Emo who likes to listen to emo music and dresses like an emo but doesn’t cut himself or cry about everything. They are perfectly happy human beings like you or me but still enjoy MCR, Fallout boy and other emo CDs of the sort.

Fakemo
Even other emos can’t tolerate these fucktards. They do everything an Emo does but have no real problems whatsoever. They simply do all this to A) Be accepted by other emos (why they’d want to, I can’t imagine why) B) To get negative attention or C) to scare the crap out of their parents.
The way to recognize them from real Emo wackjobs is that they usually get in your face more that real emos and try to bring themselves to cutting themselves, but never can. The best way to deal with them is to give them the silent treatment and avoid them to resist the temptation to give them the beatings they so richly deserve.

Emo-In-Denial
An emo who considers him self a Goth. He usually beats on and makes fun of other emos even though there is virtually no difference between them and the other categories.
Emo Emo: My life sucks (sob), I hate you (sob), I hate myself, I hate my parents (sob) and I hate everything in this world! AHHHHHH (stabs self to death)

Soap Opera Emo: I got tickets to see Green Day! this is the best day of my life, I couldn't imagine being happier. wait, I have to take my little brother. NOOOOOO!!!! (cries). I think (sob) I'll go (sob) kill myself

Happy Emo: I got tickets to see Green Day, this is gona be awsome! Wait, I have to take my brother? Damn.

Fakemo: I'm goint to cut myself with this knife realy soon! I'm gonna do it...I'm gonna do it...I'm gonna do it...I'm gonna do it...I'm gonna do it. Damn, I still cant do it. Okay, on the count of three, i'll drive this god damn Xacto into my wrist. Here it goes, One, two, THREE! Now I'm gona do it! I'm gonna do it...I'm gonna do it...

Emo-In-Denial: God I hate emos, I hate MCR, fallout Boy and all that shit poetry they write. They'll never understand true artists, like green day and my awsome poetry about death
Emo: uhhhhhh... whats the differnce?
EID: Shut the fuck up you emo fag
by Kalkazar October 25, 2007

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