1. An alternative to dipshit
2. A follicly challenged mute
3. A confirmed bachelor who, though middle-aged, lives with his mother and prefers potatoes to all other food groups.
4. Someone who considers tazers an acceptable form of foreplay.
5. Someone rather miserly who believes that $2.99 at Walmart is a rip-off.
As the Phobosmirror trawled the singles lounge in hopes of new prey, he heard his mother yell that dinner was ready.