Originates from the depths of (inbred) scotland, deprived ICT Technician with a tendancy to spread his bodily fluids anywhere and everywhere possible (hence the 5 kids!). The largest splaff manufacturer in the UK (and possibly the world!).
Not to be approached at night time, or the weekend when he prefers to be referred to as 'Show us yer cream cake bitch'.
He is also partial to the 'reach around' and 'donkey punch' techniques, and can easily satisfy 4 men simultaneously.
Also holds the world record for the most male genetalia inserted in his rectum at the same time (7!). In fact, he has his own sponsored brand of poppers 'Jummie Jizz Jumpers'.
'Jummie's gonna splaff in your meef'
'My God Jummie, you got your splaff all over my meefa'