Sufferers fall asleep uncontrollably immediatly after wacking off.
- Red Face
- Drool down the side of the mouth.
- Hairy palms
- Wearing kilts when not of scottish descent (Otherwise know as cross dressing)
- Rapid heart rate
- Stickey substance found on the underside of their desks
- unusually enlarged bicep on one arm only.
- Strong grip
- Unusually high levels of endorphins during working hours
- Excessive vists to the Justin Bieber web site.
- Repeating the words "Oh Justin" with an ever escalating pitch.
- Tourette Style groaning when left alone for even short periods of time.
Sufferers are generally from the shallower end of the gene pool.
There are only 3 known treatments:-
1. Get a girlfriend
2. Topical Cream
3. Wearing oven mitts held on by glue or gaffer tape on both hands.
NOTE: It has been suggested that the topical cream may have other side effects resulting in physical injury to the hand. However it has been found that, due to the length of travel in most sufferers, there is not enough momentum accumulated to cause even a bruise or a scratch.
The most effective cure seems to be getting a girlfriend but most sufferers do not have this option available as most also suffer from gargoyleitis, (being as hidiously ugly as a gargoyle).
Alex fell asleep at his desk after repeatly wacking himself off, he is a big sufferer of "Sleep Wacknia".