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41 definitions by John Wesley

A person so incredibly stupid that if it were not for the conveniences of modern technology and public safety, they would have been weeded out, starved or eaten way before they reached adulthood. So prominent is the unnatural selection that these people not only survive, they thrive and breed more darwin babies.
Darwin Baby: "I decided to change my own oil just to see if I could but I didnt know it would take so long to refill the new oil down that little tube where the dipstick is."
Casual Observer: "Darwin Baby"
by John Wesley February 09, 2008
A dildo so large, one could find easier ways of inserting a hippo instead. Usually a gag gift, but you know if they make it somebody can sure the hell use it. As a derogatory remark, something (person, animal, thing, etc.) may be called a Dildopotamus in reference to the fact that besides looking like a dick, otherwise, they are useless.
I ordered some sex toys off the internet and they left this giant dildopotamus on my doorstep.

If you dont quit calling things a dildopotamus in front of the baby, shes going to wind up saying it.
by John Wesley February 11, 2008
The bitch in the back seat on a road trip that will not shut the fuck up about what is on the radio but also thinks dance music is required to play no matter what the occasion or where you are going.
backseat DJ: "i wanna shake my booty!!!!"
driver: "shut the fuck up, it's 5a.m. and we are going to the airport."

by John Wesley February 12, 2008
When alcohol is involved in making two (or more) otherwise straight girls making out.
Damn, look at those two bar bisexuals over there.
by John Wesley February 09, 2008
Someone who sets up a blank phantom page that grants them entry into other peoples MySpace for the sole purpose of being nosey and gleaning peoples personal information without contributing anything back.
1. "How the hell did Kristin find out about last weekend?"
2. "Oh, she's a Myspace Weasel, she probably finger fucked your page for anything useful.
by John Wesley February 11, 2008
The kind of joint somebody rolls when they are too cheap and stingy to roll a "fatty". So thin, the rolling paper makes up the bulk of said joint and resembles a mosquitos (skeeter) leg when finished.
Terry could roll twenty Skeeter Legs from the same bag of pot anybody else could get 5 from.
by John Wesley February 09, 2008
A person who after years of no contact shows up or gets dropped off (usually after a divorce, but may just be sniffing around) on your door step because their miserable attempt at life has failed and they would like to hang around your family for a little while. Instead of making a good pet, they usually just eat all your food and shit on your carpet.
My mother-in-law runs the neighborhood stray human shelter.
by John Wesley February 11, 2008