1 definition by Joetheplumber100

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In ancient times, the Spartans would judge babies to determine whether they were worthy of living. The unfit ones were tossed off a mountain and killed. While this method of selection seems cruel in today's society, there is one person who the world would do well to get rid of. Although he calls himself Kavian The Great, the only thing "great" is his lack of intelligence. In World War II, he assisted the French in fighting the Germans...the French. Once the Germans took over, he begged for salvation, and after multiple "services rendered" to German officers, he was allowed to survive. He was mistaken for a Jew in 1943, due to his horrific physical features, and lived in Auschwitz for a year and a half, until the Allies liberated it. They found him crying in a corner as the other Jews ridiculed him; even in their eyes he was unequal. After the war, he became a fashion designer until US army drafted him as a nurse into Vietnam. Although he bragged about his involvement in the war when he returned, he in fact did horse shit for the US army. When his medical services were called upon, he ran off screaming, "Fuck this shit! I'm joining the Japs!" He changed his name to Jamarcus Jamal when he returned to the US in an attempt to start a new life as a brother from the hood. He suffered multiple injuries in 1985 when he referred to two black men as his "niggas." After that incident, he decided to pursue a hopeless career in computer technology. He now lives with his mother in Georgia.
"I've never seen anything quite so hideous." Kavian's mom at his birth.

"The United States is on Defcon 1. A major threat to national security and the general well-being of this country has presented itself. We must take action against this threat." President Kennedy in response to Kavian's arrival back into America.

"We hate him so much." Petition signed by 95% of residents of city where he lives.

"He is a disgrace to our people." Kavian's father
by Joetheplumber100 May 09, 2013

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