14 definitions by Jim E. Junk

A wonderful place that sells great liquor like Jack Daniels for instance. I used to live in a liquor store and would steal the sacred booze, but then I had too much Old Grandad and went streaking past the manager with a bottle in hand, a 3 ply roll of toilet paper wedged firmly in my anus with some flying out behind, "Spank it" written on my chest with sidewalk chalk, my hair in a Mr. T mohawk, and then I puked and slipped in it, and was pummelled viciously by a group of bikers. Then they discovered my home underneath the bathroom floor. Now I'm poor and live in a dumpster outside the liquor store, drinking the few drops of alchol filled goodness left in the emptys. Please, if you smell a fishy, rotting apples smell near a liquor store, pass me some. I'm so lonely....and sober.....
Normal people will go to Liquor Stores to buy hard booze (80 proof and up) and then will usually be sissys and drink it with a cola beverage. Drink it straight!
I'm sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo high right now.................................... heeheehee(hiccup).....passs meee anotha 'un billy bob!
by Jim E. Junk April 18, 2006

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Question asked by an unfortunate individual who has just shit themself. Basically, they sharted. Treat this with good humour, but at a fair distance upwind of the individual.
DUDE 1 : Hey, lets go cropdust that fat guy outside Wal-Mart!
DUDE 2 : Okay!
DUDE 1 : (near fat guy) (silent fart) (thinks in head : OH YEAH! SNIFF THAT ASS CLOWN!)
DUDE 2 : (near fat guy) (BLOODY RIPPER) (thinks in head : Do farts have lumps?)
FAT GUY : You sick bastard!
HOT CHICK : That man is my hero! I want to screw madly with him in the bathroom stall!
by Jim E. Junk April 18, 2006

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The best invention ever! Our High School had a whole fleet of floor buffers. I would hijack one and ride it around for hours and make the floor sparkly clean too! Then once a high speed chase took place and I overturned the buffer. Sadly, the buffer things were going at full speed and my scrotum never stood a chance. I really miss my 3 and a half testicles.
Always wear a seat belt when hijacking a floor buffer.
by Jim E. Junk May 14, 2006

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Pronounced "Gee like". This is a disturbing yet memorable quote from Guy LeDouche on MXC. Your name doesn't have to be Guy to say it, but it's funniest when said as GUY LIKE! instead of FRED LIKE! etc. In writing, a proper following statement to GUY LIKE! is AHAHAHAHAAA!!!!. Which is Guy's perverted laugh. The proper uses are :
1) After an idea, statement, or action you like has been proposed or said.
2) In a romantic situation, it can be considered playful.
3) When that skanky ugly bitch with the mole at the tavern is hitting on you again. Should be shouted as loud as possible with the word "not" inserted.
1) Dude 1: "Hey, let's go buy some cheap beer and some porn."
Dude 2: "GUY LIKE!"
2) Chick: "Hey, wanna have some fun big boy?"
Dude: "GUY LIKE!"
3) Skanky ugly bitch: "Hi Jim. You're a sexy beast! Wanna have a little fun tonight with just you, me, the mayor, Jerry, Bill, Hairy Sacks, Hugh G. Rection, The president, Warren Zevon, ZZ top, the Pope, the entire population of Denver Colorado and Donny Baker?"
Dude: "GUY NO LIKE!"
by Jim E. Junk March 11, 2006

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A way to be different. Piercings show individuality.
I got some piercings. Everybodys doing it!
by Jim E. Junk March 11, 2006

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Awesome song by the Scorpions.
Man, we was chillin' back with some buds, and then "The Zoo" came on the radio, and we was all like, "Yo, dis rocks man!"
by Jim E. Junk March 10, 2006

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A rare but frightening incident that occurs when the friction of rough anal sex causes dingleberries to ignite and catch the recievers ass on fire. Has only happened when a little too much alcohol was involved and the giver had a little too much lead in his pencil.
I used to date this one hot girl, but then she got drunk at a party with Chuck Norris and a horrible ass fire resulted.
by Jim E. Junk May 16, 2006

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