1. A derogatory phrase used to describe an individual, male or female, who is useless, unnecessary, and therefore completely undesirable in any situation. Salad spoons tend to be emotional creatures and lack a good sense of humor. They have the amazing ability to ruin any fun, completely destroy good moods, undermine positive vibes, and totally suck in general.
Nobody needs a spoon to eat a salad, and nobody wants to be around a lame ass salad spoon.
Salad spoons are the modern day version of a wet blanket
2. A salad spoon moment is any time that an otherwise legit individual has a momentary lapse of gangster and therefore exposes a temporary vulnerability. Referring to this moment as a salad spoon moment is a way to bring comic relief to the situation.
Calling these soft and emotional outbursts salad spoon moments is the modern day equivalent of saying no homo
"Yo, you know you're my boy, right? I need you to know that... I love you, man.. You are my best friend, seriously, and I don't know what I'd do without you." / "This salad spoon moment was brought to you by tequila, Marlboro Reds, and the letter D."
"Hey, man. All the homies are going to a dope ass house party tonight. Then we're heading to the strip club to make it rain on some topless bitches. You down?" / "Nah, I can't. It's Friday night so I am helping my mom clean the tubes on the vacuum cleaner, then taking my girlfriend to see the new Twilight movie."
"Hey, man. I was walking downtown when I saw a church on fire, so I ran in and saved one thousand orphans from certain death, then continued walking home. Then I was attacked by a rabid grizzly bear, which I fought off with my bare hands. Now I'm pretty sure the bear is stalking me and planning to eat me alive. I'm only a few blocks from your crib - can you pick me up? I really need a ride." / "Well, sorry, bro, but I really shouldn't be driving in this condition. I already drank two whole fuzzy navel wine coolers while I was organizing my collection of Ed Hardy t-shirts, and it's dangerous to drink and drive."