1. Basically Potomac
except with eight times as many restaurants, three times as many crazy soccer moms, half the number of polo shirts and a shorter commute into DC.
2. City in which walking in any direction for fifteen minutes will inevitably lead you to a Starbucks.
3. Suburbia trying to be urban.
4. Place in which it is extremely dangerous to be a small property, business or house because you are statistically certain to eventually be bought by a rich developer, torn down, built up ten stories high and be sold at ten times your original price.
5. The weekend haunt of slutty-looking pre-teens wearing short skirts or trying to skateboard.
6. Where you will never find a parking space ever, and if you do it won't matter because the restaurant will have a three hour wait anyways.
7. Somewhere deceivingly entertaining, since the only real thing to do is eat or visit Barnes&Noble.
8. A limiting factor when it comes to getting into college, since everyone around you is an overachieving freak who does three sports, is in theatre, edits the yearbook, and is on SGA.
Person from Bethesda: Hi, I'm from Bethesda.
Person Not from Bethesda: Hi, you must be a rich snobby fuck.
PFB: Well yeah kind of, but at least I'm not from Potomac
where it's illegal to wear clothes that cost less than $500 per square inch of fabric.
PNFB: Fair point. Wanna go spend an absurd amount of money on movie tickets?
PFB: Sure, but only if we go to the Row since UA/Lowes is sure to be overpopulated by 10-year-old hookers.
PNFB: Good call.