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8 definitions by Jayophonic

 
1.
Stories, jokes and articles about Tiger Woods' sexual escapades.
Caddie: " Hey, did you hear the one about Tiger and the three hookers?"
Duffer: "No, tell me; I can't get enough of those Tiger Tales."
by Jayophonic December 12, 2009
 
2.
A personal ladies' Apple product designed for monthly entertainment.
Helen: "I'm not feeling well, I have the monthly visitor".
Anne: "Why not strap on the Sanitary iPad for some personal entertainment".
by Jayophonic January 27, 2010
 
3.
People born under the new thirteenth astrological sign. Dates range from November 30th to December 17th.
Joe: Hey, I'm born under that new astrological sign Ophiuchus, which makes me an Ophiuchuian instead of a Sagittarian.
Moe: Dude, it makes no difference for you. You're still a stupid puddle of a homeless man's urine.
by Jayophonic January 15, 2011
 
4.
The act of allowing your wife or girlfriend to pull you away from the TV to go shopping during a major sporting event.
Your buddy: Yo, did you see the Phillies' locker room celebration after they beat the Dodgers in the NCLS?
You: No, I had to go homo-shopping for curtains with the little lady!
by Jayophonic November 13, 2009
 
5.
The combination of lekvar, a thick prune puree used to fill cakes or cookies and the rectal elimination of gas. Commonly referred as a wet fart or shart, this is socially unacceptable and uncomfortable.
Ted: Yo Dude, it looks like you have some lekvar running down your leg.

Fred: Damn, I was trying to sneak one out, but it was a lekfart. Help me find a toilet.
by Jayophonic January 22, 2011
 
6.
The residue that remains on the computer monitor after an unexpected sneeze while typing.
You: Hey man, what are those tiny spots spread all over the surface of your computer screen?

Your messy friend: Oh yeh, I had a little cold last week and couldn't turn my head fast enough when I sneezed. Don't worry, it's only cybersnot.
by Jayophonic November 30, 2009
 
7.
The alter ego of your "afraid to commit" friend, who you have never seen with a woman.
Huey: Hey man, there's a fine looking lady over there that seems to be giving you the come hither look.
Dewey: I'm not sure about that, she seems out of my league.
Huey: Dude, I'm gong to start calling you by your other name, Skip Chicks.
by Jayophonic July 21, 2011