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2 definitions by Jared/Mike

 
1.
(See also: The Newton)
Going from the theory that every action has an equal and greater reaction, The Apocalypse occurs as a result of a human male ejaculating at the exact same time that he releases a dump into the toilet.

But at the exact same time that this is occuring the man must punish himself so relentlessly that he begins to bleed, cry, and sweat as well as making himself vomit, burp, cough, sneeze along with every other form of bodily fluid coming forth from the bowels of his body.

All of this being done at the precise and exact same time, will certainly cause the destruction of Pluto, eventually causing the end of the world.
"Hey man, I don't feel like the world should be around anymore, I'll be in the bathroom attempting to Apocalypse."
by Jared/Mike November 30, 2006
 
2.
Following Newton's law of every action has an equal reaction, The Newton describes the event that occurs when one is able to take a dump while ejaculating at the exact same time. This has to be done at the exact same time or it is not The Newton.
"So I got bored and decided to try The Newton...I failed."
by Jared/Mike November 30, 2006