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52 definitions by Jamie Douglas

1. An occurance of high hilarity. This may be a phrase, action, put down or accident.

2. A precious stone carved into an amusing shape, like a phallus.

Richie: "Chris you douchebag - I'd try and make fun of you only I don't want to compete with nature!"
Tom: "Ha! That's a comic gem!"

"Look at this funny looking diamond in the shape of a plump rump - it's a comic gem!"
by Jamie Douglas November 23, 2006
Tasting of lemons. If you ever put something lemony in your mouth you will experience your pie-hole being sucked into itself, such is the explosive power of the citrus fruit. Be warned.

Many things which are not lemons are lemony. Examples include 'Jif', 'Bleach' and 'Uranium'.
Jimmy "Hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm!"
Paul "Oh goodness, get that lemon out your mouth!"
Jimmy "That's better. It was lemony."
by Jamie Douglas August 26, 2006
Someone who acts like a jerk. The kind of person who would wipe his spaff-stained hands on your muffin while you go for a jimmy.
Someone who dinged your car and didn't leave a note - tossweasel

Someone who gives your kids loads of sugary fizzy drinks before bedtime - tossweasel

Someone who aspires to act like Dick Cheney - tossweasel
by Jamie Douglas March 08, 2007
Penis. Purple headed yoghurt slinger. Veiny love tree.
So proud was Jim of his mighty weapon that he got it out at every opportunity
by Jamie Douglas January 19, 2007
Alternate spelling of the word pants amongst the literati.
C'mon Jeeves, let's go down the public lavatories and writes cursewords on the wall like "pannces"
by Jamie Douglas December 07, 2006
The cricketing bible.

Wisden is something useful to keep by your shitter for those long visits.
Quick, let's all run down the shop and get this years Wisden!

I'm off to the can for a nice long dump, let me grab my Wisden!
by Jamie Douglas December 07, 2006
Having a cock the size of an electron.

An electron has no definite size and a mass of approximately 10^-34 Kg. Approximately 0.0000000000000000000000000000000006 Kg.

You see where I'm going with this ...
Jimmy's winkie was so small that Felicity described him as an electron cock.

"Let's go poke fun at the physicists for all having electron cocks!"
by Jamie Douglas November 22, 2006