3 definitions by Jamallerian
Basically a synonym for nepotism, this word derives from Utica, NY (a city of approx. 60,000 in Central NY) where high-paying jobs are widely asserted to be obtained through family and acquaintance connections rather than through education and proven experience. These illegally acquired jobs often come with various perks and kickbacks that are as questionable as the means used to obtain the job.
Who is the new superintendent of schools?
I don't know, some nobody with a Utica degree. I heard he got the job because he was the brother of the board president.
Where did the VP of the bank go to college?
Nowhere. He's got a Utica degree so he didn't need to go to college.
Why is that arson detective able to afford a Hummer and a $600,000 house in New Hartford?
I don't know, he probably has a Utica degree.
I don't know, some nobody with a Utica degree. I heard he got the job because he was the brother of the board president.
Where did the VP of the bank go to college?
Nowhere. He's got a Utica degree so he didn't need to go to college.
Why is that arson detective able to afford a Hummer and a $600,000 house in New Hartford?
I don't know, he probably has a Utica degree.
by Jamallerian September 29, 2007
A Puerto Rican or other Latin American who came to Utica, NY via New York City, Florida or California any number of years ago and has made a life for him or herself in this decaying cesspool of forgotten human beings as either a bus driver, landlord, police officer or any other job that pays a semi-livable wage. The pejoritative connotations of this word are due to the fact that there must be something obviously wrong with any Hispanic who would leave his or her native country and move to America's anus. The perjoritave connotations are augmented by the fact that these transplanted Hispanics don't seem to realize (yet, at least) that they made a poor decision by moving from, say, El Salvador or Mexico to Utica, NY.
If that Hispanic guy's from Puerto Rico what the Hell is he doing in Utica?
I don't know, I guess he's a Uticano.
I got chased by some Uticanos on my way to school.
Italian Vinny: Uticanos are taking all our jobs.
Redneck "Red" Smith: Uticanos are taking all our jobs.
Polish Margaret Muntz: Uticanos are taking all our jobs (even though we don't work).
Bosnian Igor Slosovich: We have to compete against Uticanos for jobs.
African-American Otis Freeman: When we go to prison all of the Uticano prison guards rough us up.
I don't know, I guess he's a Uticano.
I got chased by some Uticanos on my way to school.
Italian Vinny: Uticanos are taking all our jobs.
Redneck "Red" Smith: Uticanos are taking all our jobs.
Polish Margaret Muntz: Uticanos are taking all our jobs (even though we don't work).
Bosnian Igor Slosovich: We have to compete against Uticanos for jobs.
African-American Otis Freeman: When we go to prison all of the Uticano prison guards rough us up.
by Jamallerian September 29, 2007
When someone emits a combination of strong unpleasant odors it can be said that they are wearing Utica aftershave. While these unpleasant odors can vary from person to person, there are chief odors that remain consistent: stale or wet tobacco, alcohol, body odors such as flatulents and sweat and dirty clothes are often trademarks of the "Utica aftershave" aroma. Despite its overt references to the pejoritave, the term often implies fraternal bonding and serves as a reflection of irony all Uticans possess. Utica is often lambasted as the most undesirable city in New York state, and Uticans who are well aware of their inferior status have learned to turn the art of self-deprecation into a form of indirect pride (when they put themselves down it is as if they are saying, "We know we are a sorry lot, but if we excel at anything it's at being a sorry lot").
friend #1: Man, I'm ready to go find some chicks today.
friend #2: Yeah, I can tell you're ready for some action. You got your new shoes on and you're wearing that Utica aftershave.
friend #2: Man, screw you!
friend #1: Dang! You stink.
friend #2: Man, screw you!
friend #1: Man, I stink today. I'm wearing my Utica aftershave.
friend #2: Me too. I didn't wear deodorant so I guess I'm wearing Utica aftershave too.
friend #1: We should distill this odor somehow and market it as Utica aftershave. I bet we could make a million dollars.
friend #2: They would have to sell it in the bad hygiene department.
friend #2: Yeah, I can tell you're ready for some action. You got your new shoes on and you're wearing that Utica aftershave.
friend #2: Man, screw you!
friend #1: Dang! You stink.
friend #2: Man, screw you!
friend #1: Man, I stink today. I'm wearing my Utica aftershave.
friend #2: Me too. I didn't wear deodorant so I guess I'm wearing Utica aftershave too.
friend #1: We should distill this odor somehow and market it as Utica aftershave. I bet we could make a million dollars.
friend #2: They would have to sell it in the bad hygiene department.
by Jamallerian September 29, 2007