4 definitions by Jaiger

Top Definition
The system of rating a woman's hotness according to how many peanuts you would eat out of their shit in order to have sex with them. The ratings are 1 peanut for a hot woman, 2 peanuts for a gorgeous woman and a walnut for a goddess. (Walnuts being infinitely more porous and thus more disgusting. Very few women could hope of having someone call them walnut-worthy.)
I'm tired of guys always calling fugly women gorgeous simply because they're fuckable, so I implemented the Peanut Rating System in order to determine if a women is truly sexy.
by Jaiger June 01, 2010

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The act of analingus while executing a 69.
She was blowing me and I was reciprocating, but once I saw that sweet starfish, I knew I had to star sixty-nine her.
by Jaiger May 28, 2010

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When you sit on a plank of wood with your penis exposed and a bell in your hand and invite people to take swings at your penis in order to ring the bell and win a prize.
"I got bored with our usual sex, so I invited the girlfriend to step up and perform The Strongman"

"Well, that explains the bandages on your crotch..."
by Jaiger September 08, 2011

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An unwanted boner used for the express purpose of shutting some dumb bitch up.
I didn't want to get one, but it was a necessary erection if I had hopes of shutting that hoe up.
by Jaiger March 14, 2011

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