141 definitions by Jacques Asse

Projectile ejaculation is where you masturbate until just prior to ejaculation, and then you hold it carefully back until somebody you really dislike is nearby and you let go, hitting them in the face or hair with a loud, wet SLAP.
Don't get mad, get even. Projectile ejaculation is for you.
by Jacques Asse October 21, 2009
Crabassing is when a woman just absolutely will not STFU.

Crabassing can be used in court to explain many homicides.
When Jacques got home his wife was crabassing him already, before he even shut the fucking DOOR!
by Jacques Asse June 17, 2009
An austritch is just an Australian bitch, like flat-ass Miranda Kerr or the hapless Naomi Watts, or the ruined and brain-damaged Nicole Kidman.
Miranda Kerr is an austritch.

She should be flogged.
by jacques asse August 16, 2010
Welcome to the Bunghole is a very famous song by Buns N Hoses about anal fucking.
Lyrical excerpt:

Welcome to the bunghole
We've got fun 'n' lube
We got everything you screwed
Honey, we got yer noobs
We are the people that can pine
Whenever you may bleed
If you got the butthole baby
We got time to please


In the bunghole
Welcome to the bugnhole
Watch it bring you to your
sha na na na na na na na
knees, knees
I wanna watch your asshole bleed

Welcome to the bunghole
You take it inch by inch
If you want it you're gonna bleed
But it's the price you pay
And you're a very sexy girl
Who’s always on your knees
You can taste the bright lights
But you won't get them for free
In the bunghole
Welcome to the bunghole
Feel my, my, my diggler extreme
I, I wanna hear you scream
by Jacques Asse June 25, 2009
Vadge goggles are special safety eyewear worn to prevent explosive vaginal fluids from blinding the male during cunnilingus or vanillingus.
Jacques generally wears vadge goggles when he goes down, down, down, down.
by Jacques Asse April 28, 2009
A penis that shrinks whenever its owner lies to a woman.
Jon's penocchio startled Jess when it continually kept shrinking.
by Jacques Asse February 03, 2009
Nig Rock is a galactic, cosmic asswipe that runs around saying stupid things like "Bawitdaba da bang a dang diggy diggy diggy said the boogy said up jump the boogy".

Like anybody EVER uttered a fucking sentence like that.

Real niggers don't even SPEAK that way, but Nig Rock, living in his drug-addled little world pretends that people think he's a badass just because he was "inspired" to scrawl out some nonsense like "Bawitdaba da bang a dang diggy diggy diggy said the boogy said up jump the boogy".

It is actually Satanic language referring to the end of the Cosmos.
Bawitdaba da bang a dang diggy diggy diggy said the boogy said up jump the boogy.

Please, find me a stupider lyric EVER written in any language upon the face of this planet. Such mindless drivel could only originate in the foul bowels of the mind of Nig Rock.

God help us.
by Jacques Asse December 28, 2009

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