5 definitions by Jack Bard

Top Definition
Similar to "the royal we" but less condescending. Usually a retort when someone volunteers you to do something without asking you first.
"I have to move out of my apartment this weekend, can you guys help me?" Jake asked. "Sure thing, we'll be there first thing Saturday" Ryan said. "Whoa, what's this 'we' bullshit?" I replied, "you got a mouse in your pocket?"
by Jack Bard August 15, 2008
The state of existence for an article of clothing after it has been worn but before it is officially "dirty" (i.e. the state between clean and dirty). Clothes in purgatory are usually stored in the floordrobe or chairdrobe until they have been properly dispositioned.

There are three possible fates for clothes in purgatory: 1) they are declared "clean" (usually determined by the "sniff test") and then worn immediately. Note, clothes that fail the sniff test can be "freshened up" by spraying with fabreze and/or placing in the dryer for a few minutes with a fabric softner sheet. 2) They are declared "dirty" and washed immediately with other items of the same type and color. In this case the item is arbitrarily determined to be dirty without a sniff test as an expedient to make up the difference in volume of a small load of laundry. 3) They are declared "clean" and put away properly (i.e. hung up or folded), Note, this determination is the rarest fate for clothes in purgatory.

Clothing purgatory is most often associated with clothing that is "home laundered." Dry-clean-only items are usually worn and immediately hung back up or declared "dirty" and placed in the "dry cleaning bag," although it is not entirely uncommon to retrieve a "dirty" article of clothing from the dry cleaning bag and "touch it up" with the iron in order to wear it again immediately.
Ashely searched for her favorite jeans (the stretchy ones that make her butt look cute) and found them in clothing purgatory. She quickly sniffed them and decided that the slight reek of stale beer and cigarettes would not be out of place at the hookah bar.

I only wore the khaki's for two hours, so I threw them in clothing purgatory.

"Is this clean?" Todd asked as he held up a sweater he found on the chair. "I dunno'?" said Nicole, "but you can go ahead and wash it if you're doing a load of colors."
by Jack Bard August 15, 2008
A fat wad of rolled money held with a rubber band often consisting of low denomination bills in the center (ones or fives) with a single higher-denomination bill visible on the outside to give the appearance that the owner has a lot of money.
I had to leave the strip club in a hurry and I got stuck with a bunch of one dollar bills, so I spent the rest of the weekend with a fat nigger knot bulging in my pocket.

I thought Jay was trying to be funny when I saw him whip out a nigger knot, but then he told me it was the down payment for a new car.
by Jack Bard August 14, 2008
Someone who writes a lot of useless or unread content. A hack writer. One who writes indiscriminately. Often unscrupulous, vain, or mercenary in nature.
Man! did you read that ten page press release Ira wrote for the KKK? What an ink sprinkler! He'll write anything for a buck and a byline!
by Jack Bard August 01, 2006
Originally a military slang term to indicate when a superior starts an apparently friendly conversation only to assign some crappy job duty to you.

It has expanded in general use to indicate anytime someone is nice to with the sole intention of screwing you over. It is particularly appropriate for describing when someone is the victim of a "long con" or when you get burned so dramatically that it leaves no doubt that the person who did it thoroughly planned to do so.

It comes from the idea of a husband who can't (or won't) have sex with his wife turning out the lights and screwing her with a rubber dick in the dark.
Boss: Did you see the playoff last night? Man that was some game!
Peon: Yeah, pretty exciting.
Boss: We're having a few people over tomorrow to watch the final. Do you have any plans?
Peon: No, I was probably just going to go to a sportsbar to catch the game.
Boss: Good, then you won't mind working a double shift.

I really thought Bill was doing me a favor by offering to watch my house while I was on vacation, but he just rubber dicked me because I got back and all my stuff was gone.
by Jack Bard July 16, 2013
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