23 definitions by Jack Bozdog

One long, continuous turd purposefully left in the toilet by its former owner as a "trophy shit".

It spirals around the inside of the bowl, showing those who enter the John Q. Public afterwards just how supremely talented, artistic, and considerate, its manufacturer is.

KAREN: Wow, that was fast!

WILLY: Yeah, well, I didn't use the John, because there was a coiled snake in one stall ...

KAREN: A coiled snake! Oh my God! Did you tell the manager?

WILLY: No, honey, someone left a big, huge, turd in the John. It stunk like Hell, and I wanted to flush it, but it was laying on top of a gigantic TP plug. And the other toilet had john cummings on the seat.

KAREN: Whose that?

WILLY: You know (doing a "jerk off" motion) like "dick cummings" or "peter cummings" but on the john.


WILLY: On the way back, I'm checking out the gas station across the street, maybe they take better care of their John Q. Public!

KAREN: I get it! You mean CUSTOMERS, right?
#baby ruth #milk duds #loch ness #little john #peter tucker #johnny dipp #python #cobra #rattler #water mocassin #cotton mouth
by Jack Bozdog June 24, 2006
An very hard and erect penis.
I got a woody johnson just looking at that elevator chick over there!
#woody #johnson #elevator #ella vader #ed wood
by Jack Bozdog June 07, 2006
Ed Wood. Ed = Erectile Dysfunction. Wood = Erection. A misnomer? An oxymoron? A cuntradickshun? No, Ed wood = a viagara dependant erection.
GERTRUDE: Grandpa has been an "Ed Johnson" for a couple of years, if you know what I mean. But, he recently started taking viagara, and he's become an "Ed Wood" lately. Even a "Tiger Wood"!

CINDY: Gee, thanks for telling me, Grandma. That was really a whole lot more than I never wanted to know.
#ed #mr. ed #ed johnson #woody johnson #anita johnson #annie johnson #lisa johnson
by Jack Bozdog June 06, 2006
The Canadian U.S.A. border. It is prononced "CAN-U.S.A.".
Our Off-road club will take on your off-road club across CANUSA anytime!
#jeep wrangler #meyer manx #dirt bike #dirt bug #dirt beetle
by Jack Bozdog August 03, 2006
An UNATTRACTIVE female dork. An ATTRACTIVE female dork is called a "Dorkette".
You can NOT turn Bertha into a Prom Queen by just taking off her glasses and changing her hairstyle. Bertha is NOT a Dorkette, she is a Dorkus!

Maybe with some liposuction and some ProActive. Maybe.
#dork #dorkette #nerd #nerdle #nerdette
by Jack Bozdog August 03, 2006
A woman with nice legs, nice hips, and big hair, but no tits.
Yeah! I fucked the Hell out of Mary last night!

Wow! I bet it was great seeing her naked!

Well, she does look pretty damn good naked, but, she must stuff her bra or wear falseys or somethin', she is definitely an ostrich dude.

#mary-mary #little miss muffet #cummuffin #corn muffin #cumpire #vampire pussy-mouse #beaver dam' missouri
by Jack Bozdog December 09, 2006
Supposed to be the same as "ketchup', ie, a condiment made from tomatoes. Hello! Is anyone in there? Wake up! It's Cat soup! It says so, in fricanese, right on the label!

SAD GIRL: "I am so sad, I need to get rid of my cat because I am moving into an apartment where no pets are allowed."

ATTENDANT: "Everything will be fine. We'll find a nice home for her."


ATTENDANT: "The bitch left, here's another cat for the giant CATSUP (cat soup) blender!"

#ketchup & mayo volcano #nilla shake #hoover cocksucker #hummer blowjob #77
by Jack Bozdog July 01, 2006
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