3 definitions by JC4556

Top Definition
The used condom you find when you wake up in the morning after a drunken porkfest. The crusty boot can be found in the bed, on the floor, up your ass/vag, or even in the refrigerator or other unlikely location. A condom which has fecal matter or blood on the outside of it could be considered extra crusty.
I pulled a crusty boot out of my asshole when I woke up today- Man I must have been shitfaced last night.
by JC4556 May 30, 2007

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A girl (or guy) who is very plain, boring, lame, etc.
Hey did you see Megan just standing there last night in her american eagle jeans and old navy fleece? One word: TOAST

That Megan girl is plain as TOAST
by JC4556 March 22, 2007

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When a girl gives you a salmon helmet (sits on your face with a dirty dirty vagina) that is extra foul, the tartar sauce is the green/thick/nasty stuff in her vagina.
That nasty ho gave me a salmon helmet last night with extra tartar sauce. I had to clear my throat afterwards and wipe my face off with a towel.
by JC4556 March 22, 2007

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