1 definition by J.J. Luna

Top Definition
Yes, I actually grew up in a Los Angeles suburb (Palos Verdes), and spent roughly 23 years in various parts of the collective LA area. Here's what it breaks down to:

A) Countless suburbs chock full of wiggers, soccer moms, dope smokers, hippies, etc.

B) The downtown area, with its "business district" (Don't make me go down there and eat your lunch) -- some of the softest people I've seen in my life. The eight hour workday is the norm here, any more and you're a "greedy, selfish sonofabitch".

C) Chock-full of illegal aliens who'll try and peddle everything from flowers to belt buckles to narcotics. The police here can't arrest/deport them unless they're actually caught commiting a crime.

D) Crime is a lot worse than the media would like you to believe. Basically, the jail system is so overcrowded you'll get released immediately after being arrested (and never show up to trial), or serve a couple days in the county jail system. It's a true revolving door.

E) Getting around is an absolute JOKE. You have to drive to get anything accomplished. Public transportation is not a viable option here. You will spend two+ hours to drive 20 miles on the freeway. Roads and highways are poorly maintained, READ: potholes galore.

F) This whole town is built on perceptions -- everyone is pretending to be something they're not. Image is everything in LA. You have countless stuck-up women/whores, "entrepreneurs", people living at home with daddy's credit card, etc. Very little substance, plenty of superficial people.

G) The city, overall, moves VERY slow. The entire state is VERY liberal. People in Los Angeles don't accomplish anything; they're too busy taking their poodle to get groomed, attending the latest illegal alien rights protest, etc. Wasting time here is the norm.

H) Yes, there are beaches. Yes, the climate is fairly warm most of the time. However, countless times during the year, beaches are closed due to pollution. Smoking is banned at public beaches. The sky is brown due to pollution.

I) Hollywood is chock-full of transexuals, gays, drug addicts, bums, and other undesirables. HIV+ capital of the world (outside of San Francisco).

J) There is plenty of racial tension, gang wars, violence, etc. LA is home to some of the worst slums in the nation.

K) The "educational" system is more baby sitting rather than learning. Schools are underfunded, everyone passes classes regarless of merit, and riots/violence occurs on a daily basis.

L) Real estate prices are through the roof (2005) -- even mediocre housing in a low-income area will cost in excess of $500,000. Shelter is approaching and even surpassing Manhattan in many areas.

OK, so there are some attactions: Disneyland, the beaches, and Hollywood. Aside from that, there's really nothing more to see in Los Angeles. It's an OK place to visit for a couple days. Trust me, it gets old.

If you're considering moving here to "become famous", or "make it big", take a number and get in line. Everyone here is trying to accomplish the same thing, yet nobody actually puts any effort into achieving their goals.

LA is a shithole, always has been, and will continue on its downtrend.

Joe: I make $150k/hour, worked at 300 companies, drive a Rolls Royce, and have a ten foot dick.

Mike: No way! I'm moving to Los Angeles so I can be like you! You were working at McDonalds yesterday!

Vato Loco: Hey holmes, lets go blast on them niggas in tha 'hood. Pinche motherfuckers are movin' into our territory

Vato Loco #2: Chale ese, mi familia (all 500 of 'em) are creepin' across the border tonight. I gotta smoke some dope anyways. VIVA LA RAZA!

Guy: Lets go grab some dinner.

Girl: Like, no way you fucking looser, I only date guys who are movie stars, and like, have ten foot dicks, like Joe. Forget the fact I, like, screw losers -- I'm going to be a, like, complete bitch 'cause I'm like, you know, a LA GIRL!!!

Dude #1: Yah, you know bro, yeah, I have this CRAZY business idea bro, uh huh, we're going to make a gazillion bucks!

Dude #2: So what's your plan?

Dude #1: Uhmm, well, lemmy smoke some more weed, and like, it'll all work out or something. DUDE! Is Cheech and Chong on?

Black Man #1: I finna go get me sum of dat gub'mint cheeze, mah nizzle! Time tah hit da County Line for some GR/Welfare!

Black Man #2: Fo' shizzle mah nizzle, when we get paper'd up, lets hit some of dem white blone biznatches!

Wigger: Repeat above.

Liberal/soccer mom: Oh heavens! Such vulgarities! I'm reporting you mister at the next PTA meeting! I'm going to start a protest in front of City Hall to stop your profanity!
by J.J. Luna September 05, 2005

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