Also known as Lonely Vehicle Syndrome, it is a disease affecting drivers of all makes and models. Persons afflicted with this disease can be identified by the following symptom. Despite having their pick of any spot in the entire parking lot, they will pull into the spot right next to your car. The doors of their vehicle are then thrown open with wild abandon, colliding with your car, leaving a fantastic dent.
Even parking your car closer to the back of the parking lot won't be enough to dissuade some infected individuals. The urge to have their vehicle spoon with another can be too strong to overcome. A person so afflicted will ignore the lure of closer, more favourable parking spots, just to park parallel with someone else.
The effects of this disease can be extremely devastating when the individual is a driver of a large SUV or 2 door vehicle packed full of hyper active children.
You wouldn't take the urinal right next another guy, when there are 2 open spots to either side of him. You wouldn't sit right beside another person in a movie theatre, if the rest of the row was empty.
So why do you feel obligated to park RIGHT beside my truck in an otherwise empty parking lot?! Lonely Car Syndrome. That's why.
Similar to an atheist, only a fatheist does not believe in fat chicks. Not even thick chicks. This results in him being a poor wingman, but reduces his odds of being crushed to death.
Guy A: Dude, I could totally nail this chick, you've gotta take her friend for me.
Guy B: Man, I'd bite the bullet and do it, but that's not a bullet, that's a fking cannon ball.
Guy A: Please! I'm begging you.
Guy B: Sorry, no can do. I'm a fatheist.