One who is constantly trying to impress others by posting philosophical/deep quotes, analogies, or theories as their facebook status even though everyone else knows that these quotes don't mean anything to them.
Status sages seem to have forgotten that if they were so busy meditating all day, they wouldn't have time to continuously update their status.
Biancas facebook status: People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.
Rachel (having read Biancas status): pfhhh, Bianca is so bored all day, she's become a status sage. That girl doesn't give two hoots about 'inner beauty'... *roll eyes*
When someone uses too many exclamation points in a paragraph, or uses unnecessary exclamation points, and you want them to explain why the need for all the excitement.
Common side effect: Topic ADHD
Jenny: Hey! I went to the mall today! Puppies are funny! Want to see a movie! I'm eating pretzels!
Rachel: Uh, explanation point....
Jenny: I drank 9 Red Bulls
(other typical answers include: I'm drunk
/just met my dream guy
when you burp up a gross tasting burp and its a mix of different foods.
David: Oh man, I just burped up the randomist shit.
Larry: Dude, salami burps are the worst.