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6 definitions by Ian Wetzel

 
1.
a sexual act where a man and his partner stand at opposite ends of the room. the woman bends over and braces against the wall while the man clasps his hands over his head imitating a shark. He then begins humming the jaws theme song and sprints across the room, lead by his erection, and attempts to penetrate either the vagina or anus with his momentus impact.
I have to be really drunk to try the land shark, but im usually too inebriated to run in a straight line, so i wake up very sore.
by Ian Wetzel September 14, 2004
 
2.
Brian is such a lars ulrich
by Ian Wetzel September 17, 2004
 
3.
along with sexual progression euphemisms associated with baseball (first base: making out, second base: hand job, etc.), bull pen refers to a one night stand where one's perception is sub-standard, either due to intoxication, THC, or overt horniness, and the subject has sex with a very very unattractive person.
every time i drink i wake up in the bull pen
by Ian Wetzel September 18, 2004
 
4.
the third type of blocking in football (when the game is on the line and you need to give the QB more time than run or pass blocks can allow) where a lineman pops a viagra, making sure the defender notices the easily identifiable buldge, so that said defender will lose all motivation to have any contact with the offender, giving up for the remainder of the play.
Cock blocking. *pushes right arm forward while left hand grabs genitals* Offense. 15 yard penalty. Repeat 4th down.
by Ian Wetzel September 17, 2004
 
5.
along with baseball oriented sexual progression euphemisms (i.e. first base: making out, second: hand jobs, et cetera), "dugout" refers to sex up the pooper
i need to wash twice after playing in the dugout
by Ian Wetzel September 18, 2004
 
6.
PMS
the biggest conspiracy ever
Bob: my girlfriend is PMSing, can i come over?
Ian: don't fall for that shit, she is just being a bitch. slap her across the face and tell her to knock it off.
by Ian Wetzel September 14, 2004