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3 definitions by Ian Gee

 
1.
A twatwank is much the same as a titwank, except it utilises a lady's tuppy. Essentially, it's just plain old sexing.
"My, Lady Chatterley, I wouldn't half love to give you a good twatwank up against that old oak tree yonder..."

"The twins, Alan and Victoria, slipped into the train's toilet with a view to steal a quick kiss from one another. As it turned out, Alan ended up furiously twatwanking Victoria up against the door."
by Ian Gee April 21, 2006
 
2.
is short for 'glatzkopf' - the German word to describe somebody as bald. Used by English-speakers so as to codify someone's baldness with a view to discussing it openly in front of them. See 'beglatzed'.
Jeff: "Have you seen Cody's bald head? What a loser."
Brian: "Oh, hey Cody!"
Cody: "Hi guys."
Brian: "You're right Jeff - a definite glatz."

"Sheila splashed her wetness right across Barry's glatz"

Gay Steve was dying to spaff all over Bald Tony's glatz.
by Ian Gee April 21, 2006
 
3.
The art of curling one out of one's back passage. An Ass Wazz is essentially taking a dump, simply put in an infinitely more eloquent fashion.
"I shall retire to the lavatory for a sumptuous ass wazz."

"Joyce expelled an almighty ass wazz across Nigel's face. Some went in his eyes."
by Ian Gee April 18, 2006