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1 definition by IFUCKMYDOG

 
1.
The Kitchen Quest is an internationally recognised quest undertaken by people under the influence of many psychoactive Drugs (Usually chronic or acid).
The quest is a simple, and is usually performed to counter the state of which we name 'the munchies'.

The first stage of the quest, is so to first find a safe happy environment to stand up in (this is to maintain a safe state of mind during this short yet complex stage of the quest).
This stage can involve friends, pets or any solid fixed objects.

The second stage of the quest is to leave the room quickly and quietly, making sure not to grab the attention of 'grabbers'
Make sure that if there are any participants involved, you must create a symbol or maneuver in order to make sure the participants are aware that a quest has began.

The third, and sometimes most frustrating of the steps, is to locate the kitchen, this can sometimes be difficult if you are in a location that you have no prior knowledge of (a unhappy area). This can also be difficult even if you are in your own home, as many substances cause you to forget where/what/who and when you are.
Therefore it is important to sometimes seek external help, making sure not to give to much, or let them know your intentions. (try to keep your cool, and resist the temptation to chew your own face)

The final stage is to enter the kitchen and maintain a safe happy environment for you to finish your quest in.
try to resist breaking things, as this makes eating stuff more difficult.
Slowly open the fridge/ freezer, making sure the oven has been preheated, or the microwave located.

Finally, eat ever nutritious object in the kitchen, making sure to leave nothing for anyone else...
Stoner 1: Hey man, im fucking hungry...

Stoner 2: *Quietly* Kitchen quest?

Stoner 1: yea sounds good, make sure to signal Darren and Jerome first, they're gurning their twat off...
by IFUCKMYDOG July 23, 2009