French for "False Step."
A severe social blunder or major breach in etiquette. If the faux pas in question was unintentional it oftens leads to a very awkward and uncomfortable moment. If the faux pas in question was intentional the person who intentionally committed the faux pas in question is often loathed for an appropriate period of time (or bitch slapped). But- on a rare occasion the person the intentional faux pas was directed at might find it funny and laugh it off.
Unintentional Faux Pas:
During "Brighter Than Sunshine" -our last slow dance song- I went to kiss Miranda full on the lips. But apparently first base wouldn't be reached tonight. Instead she violently jerked away, her lithe body escaping my gasp. She looked at me with some kind of look that I'd never seen before. In it, it contained; desire, anger, and pity. The few seconds she stood standing there in front of me felt like enternity. Miranda, God bless her, ran away tears streaming out her eyes. Apparently when she said had taken my "Let's go to the dance together but just as friends" speech literally. I had intended it as a "We're best friends and have been for ages will you go out with me?"
Intentional Faux Pas (Type A):
When Kelsey took off her backpack at carpool and bent over to get the math notes I had missed out for me, Cameron made a serious Faux Pas of the first type. She was standing there, her heart-shaped butt innocently sticking out when he ran up and spanked it so hard I'm sure it bruised. For Christ's sake, doesn't he know we're in a Catholic school? Well he got what he deserved. His cheek was still bright red the next day from the bitch slap she gave him.
Intentional Faux Pas (Type B):
I watched as Keith stared directly at Kelly's hourglass body. Didn't he have any shame? Didn't he know how to do it the right way? The way she wouldn't notice. Beatrice -Kelly's "pleasently plump" best friend- noticed. Beatrice pointed it out to Kelly. But apparently Lady Luck wasn't letting Keith down today. Kelly laughed, took it as a compliment, and ran over and started making out with him. Maybe I should take notes for the next time I cross paths with Miranda's beautiful body.
Things that are made to be broken.
I walked into my Catholic School class, breaking as many "rules" as I could. I had a hat on (twisted halfway to the left), chomping on gum and blowing big pink bubbles, shirt untucked, no belt underneath, shoe laces undone, and to top it off I walked in five minutes after the bell. My teacher nearly had a heart attack when she saw me slouching in my seat and in this state of so-called "disrepair." She shrieked at me. "You know the rules! No gum, shirt tucked in, a belt, and your shoes MUST.BE.TIED! Get to class on time next time, or instead of a tardy I'll send you to the principal. Now get out your homework!" I nonchalantly asked, "What homework?" She screamed, "You know the rules, do your homework." And I responded deadpan, "Rules are things that are made to be broken."
The story of my life.
My math teacher won't let me do "trial and error" or "guess and check" solutions. They all have to be algebraic solutions- the reason why I used to get 100s in math and now I get 80s.
Time for you to get a watch.
"What time is it?"
"Currently, at the very moment I am writing this, it is: 8:26 P.M. on February 1st, 2007."
Uh, when I was writing tags, a minute slipped by. So now it is 8:27 P.M. on February 1st, 2007.
Now I'm editing this from my email so I can official submit this to urbandictionary.com. And another minute slipped by. So now it's 8:28 P.M. on February 1st, 2007. Now I'm writing this and another minute slipped by, so now it's 8:29 P.M. on February 1st, 2007
Disappeared. Vanished. Gone. Lost.
As far as I know, the term "Bermuda Triangulated" first appeared in Chuck Palahniuk's book, "Diary." Which to date (Jan. 27, 2007) is the best book I've ever read.
(An exerpt from "Diary" (Chapter) June 23, pg 6):
A woman calls from Seaview to say her linen closet is missing. Last September, her house had six bedrooms, two linen closets. She's sure of it. Now she's only got one. She comes to open her beach house for the summer. She drives out from the city with the kids and the nanny and the dog, and here they are with all heir luggage, and their towels are gone. Disappeared. Poof.
(Real life example):
I had just gone over to the DJ to request "Brighter Than Sunshine" as a slow dance song for Miranda and myself. But when I got back to where we had been standing in the center circle of the gym floor she wasn't there. She had Bermuda triangulated.
Something you don't want your grandparents talking in.
(The astericks (*) mark the similies and similie phrases.)
Your granpa: "Geez whiz you young rascal. When my family went on road trips we didn't have a drive-thru to stop at. Us young whippersnappers had to pack our own ham and cheese sandwiches, then we'd hop in the car with our parents, and *we'd be off like a dirty shirt.*"
Your granma recalling the good times on her deathbed. Sighs, "Your granpa used to *ride me like a stallion.*"
"Why'd the chicken cross the road?"
"I don't know."
"To get to the other side."
This was a good joke, with a pun that people probably wouldn't have thought of. But since it's creation, there has been hundreds of bad puns spinning off the original.
"Why'd the man cross the road?"
"I don't know. To get to the other side...?"
"Uuuh... no. To get to the hot babe on the other side. Hahahaa."
"Shut up fag."
...cross the road? jokes are similar to "yo' mama" jokes in the sense that a few people have mastered the art of telling one, but most only dream of basking the flory of accomplishing that.
I had decided to cheer Carrie up after her boyfriend Riley had dumped her. "Hey Carrie! Why'd the chicken cross the road?" "Listen," she said to me. "I already know the joke. To get to the other side. Stop trying to cheer me up." Chavez came over after he heard this and tried to piss her off instead. "Hey Carrie, why'd the woman cross the road?" "To get to the other side, Chavez...." Chavez smiled and said, "No. But who cares!? What's she doing out of the kitchen?"