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8 definitions by Howard Schultz

 
1.
When you are not nice to the barista he will prepare your beverage and pass it behind his apron and quickly dip his schlong into it. Because he is wearing an apron you can not see that his schlong was hanging out all the time. He will also give you decaff instead of regular.
Pour your schlong into it, one dip at a time.
by Howard Schultz July 22, 2008
50 4
 
2.
Usually not a barista but office staff with to much extracurricular activities who follow all available coffee training rather than doing the work they were hired to do. After becoming coffee ambassador they will spend even less time working. It was intended for promoting coffee but usually these coffee ambassadors feel that they are better than anybody else. They are the kind of person that will tell somebody who drinks gourmet coffee that they are wrong because it is not roasted the Starbucks way or to tell a barista that he or she is doing his or her work the wrong way. Usually wears blinders and can not see things any other way than their own way. Despised by people who make coffee for a living and consider a parasite and a coffee tourist rather than a professional
The coffee ambassador refused to admit to the gourmet coffee drinker that there are coffees that taste better that Starbucks coffee. She even defended the taste of Pike Place roast without ever drinking it herself.
by Howard Schultz August 15, 2008
34 4
 
3.
Instant espresso powder, cream, flavored sugar syrup and ice cubes, all mixed up in a blender. Costs hardly anything to produce, easy to make and tastes fantastic. Does make you fat though.
"Are you pregnant or is that a bear belly?"
"No, I just had to many fatpuccino's"
"So you are carrying Howard Schultz's baby?"
"Yes I know, I am to fat and I shouldn't drink all those delicious fatpuccino's"
by Howard Schultz July 22, 2008
29 2
 
4.
Mythical being, related to the Bigfoot and Yetti that comes into your car, house or office and pees in your coffee, and than sods off again without ever being seen. Believed to originate from Seattle. Coffee spiked by a Pequod is also referred to as Pequod.
The Starbucks coffee ambassador who was doing a blind test recognized this cup of Joe as the best Pequod she had ever drank because it left a foam mustache that could only be removed with turpentine.
by Howard Schultz August 15, 2008
36 10
 
5.
1- A granola bar that causes flatulence due to the content of chicory.
2- Drinking establishment for poofters.
After the poofters bar Howard went flatulent for 2 days and couldn't stop sharting himself.
by Howard Schultz July 19, 2008
28 2
 
6.
Female customer at Starbucks. Either a soccer mom or trailer park trash, but probably got features of both. Known for their bad temper and lack of manners.
The big white whale likes to drink quad venti non-fat latte.
by Howard Schultz August 15, 2008
33 11
 
7.
A coffee maker that uses pads to make the perfect cup of coffee every time. Just put one or two pads in the pad holder and select one or two cups for the right amount of water. Pads are made by Douwe Egberts and many other quality brands, like Lavazza. There are many flavors and varieties. Totally takes away the need to go to a Starbucks for a fraction of the price.
Since I got the Senseo I make my own perfect cup of coffee in the morning and I don't go to Starbucks anymore.
by Howard Schultz September 14, 2008
27 16