6 definitions by Hey Jack
When one jacks off into a Santa Claus hat and then puts it on his wife's head at the family breakfast on Christmas Day.
Person 1: "Why are you showing up on my doorstep on Christmas Day."
Person 2: "Beacause I gave my wife a Soggy Santa Hat at breakfast."
Person 1: "Oh not good!"
Person 2: "Beacause I gave my wife a Soggy Santa Hat at breakfast."
Person 1: "Oh not good!"
by Hey Jack December 11, 2014
An old person at the grocery store that if you have the misfortune of getting behind in the checkout line will make you turn from a soft, cuddly, loving person into a raging menace, because they still pay with a check meaning you probably will not eat your food till after midnight.
Person 1: "Dude what took so long with the munchies it's like 2 in the morning?"
Person 2: "Sorry man I got stuck behind this old Cotton-topped grocery gremlin at the store."
Person 1: "Wow sorry man, here sit down, let me get you a strong drink."
Person 2: "Sorry man I got stuck behind this old Cotton-topped grocery gremlin at the store."
Person 1: "Wow sorry man, here sit down, let me get you a strong drink."
by Hey Jack August 17, 2014
When one is sick on the toilet with chronic diarrhea and mid shit the urge to vomit arises leading to the person grabbing the garbage can and vomiting as they also expel diarrhea from their ass.
Person 1: "Dude what went on in there are you feeling okay?"
Person 2: "I'm feeling a little better now since I just pulled an ill deuce."
Person 2: "I'm feeling a little better now since I just pulled an ill deuce."
by Hey Jack August 8, 2014
A girl who constantly posts on Social Media about how horrible the guy is that she just ended a relationship with. Not realizing that she might be the problem, or that she should date better guys, therefore she is the problem by default for making such a stupid choice.
Person 1: "Dude Susie is all over social media bashing the guy that just cheated on her."
Person 2: "Give her a week and they will be back together, or she will be dating another loser, because she is a moron."
Person 1: "You mean I am going to have to listen to this crap again?"
Person 2: "Many times my friend, many times. She is a Social Media Taylor Swift."
Person 2: "Give her a week and they will be back together, or she will be dating another loser, because she is a moron."
Person 1: "You mean I am going to have to listen to this crap again?"
Person 2: "Many times my friend, many times. She is a Social Media Taylor Swift."
by Hey Jack June 7, 2017
You: "I just left a Shit Toner in the bathroom, it looked like a Picasso ."
Friend: "Damn I guess I have to piss spray it off now."
Friend: "Damn I guess I have to piss spray it off now."
by Hey Jack October 2, 2016
Any dude you are friends with that can't answer his phone or return a text, but when the shoe is on the other foot he is a victim, AKA he is just a big Assbag Pussy....
Person 1: Dude I just tried calling Jim.
Person2: Did he answer?
Person 1: No he is just a big ass Cunt Ruffle.
Person2: Did he answer?
Person 1: No he is just a big ass Cunt Ruffle.
by Hey Jack November 27, 2016