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10 definitions by Hextacy

 
1.
The world's GREATEST instrument when it comes to orchestras. Many people say that the viola is the target of most of the orchestra jokes, but the truth is that almost every joke has an insert instrument name herescenario. Besides, how could anyone hate violas? Violins are like Icing on a cake. It's nice, but if you have to much of it, you want to throw up. The 2nd best orchestra instrument is the Cello, the 3rd best is the bass, and the worst is the violin.
Studies show that the more violas you have in an orchestra, the better the orchestra is. The viola offers a rich sound, not as high pitched, screachy, and annoying as a violin, but higher than a cello and more portable. As an added bonus, it's easier to whack other people with it and its bow because both weigh more than a violin.
The only down side to a viola vs. a violin is that a violin can play fiddle/celtic music easier because it is lighter. Then again, most rock bands that incorporate orchestra/classical music into their songs use more violas than violins because they're cooler and deeper sounding. Oh, and by the way, for those of you that pronounce it "Vigh-ola", it's really pronounced "Vee-ola", so get it right, cuz it's really fuckin' annoying.
Person 1: What's the difference between violins and grapes?
Person 2: IDK, what?
Person 1: You have to take your shoes off to stomp on grapes.
Person 2: Fuck youm, I'm a violinist!
Person 1: *stomp* VIOLA PRIDE, BITCH!
by Hextacy July 07, 2006
379 109
 
2.
Christian holy book. highly flammable.
i heard bibles burn red and you can see satan in the smoke...or jesus, whichever's funnier.
by Hextacy October 19, 2006
1038 852
 
3.
A really stupid idea those fuckshots from FOX decided to develop.
Guy #1: Did you see that new reality TV show on Fox last night?
Guy #2: Uhh..no, it looked too gay. Besides, jumping off a skyscraper for 200 bucks isn't reality...IT'S A FUCKING GAME SHOW!
Guy #1: Survivor doesn't have that!
Guy #2: Survivor was an excuse of a TV show. They interviewed a bunch of fucks on nation TV, turned them against each other, and then gave the winner money. GAME. SHOW.
Guy #3: Yea, and besides, they starved themselves. We're doing a hella great job of making sure our youth aren't becoming anorexic or bulemic aren't we?
Guys #1&2: Where the fuck did you come from? How did you get in?? Get the fuck outta our house!
by Hextacy July 05, 2006
20 4
 
4.
Powdered, mixable drink. Often referred to as Kiddie Crack, Special K, or Cult Punch. Flavours are never referred to as actual foods, just the colours they are, probably due to the fact that it's just dyed sugar. Except when you mix it in water, it tastes like fucking WATER. They make you add 4 bags of damn sugar until it actually is just coloured sugar! Who the hell makes kool aid anyways?
Kid 1: Hey, you got any kool aid?
Kid 2: Hell yeah man, I've got blue, purple, and red.
Kid 1: Well damn, blue sounds good.
Kid 2: Chyea, gettin' hopped up on the K.
by Hextacy December 24, 2006
21 16
 
5.
Any number that people call all the time because a character in a song or movie dials it. Originated from the song "867-5309/Jenny" by Tommy Tutone.
Eric: God damnit, I hate that new movie that just came out. I'm getting calls every 5 minutes because I have a damn Jenny Number.

Sam: You should change your number, man. They won't stop. Besides, doesn't your daughter have the same name as the woman in the movie?

Eric: Yeah, I never know if they really want to talk to her or not anymore!
by Hextacy September 22, 2007
5 2
 
6.
The handle in a car on the passenger's side on the ceiling above the door. It's called the JC Strap because that's what you yell when you have to use it.
"Yeah, just turn up here at the...JESUS CHRIST!!! *Grabs JC Strap*"
by Hextacy September 19, 2007
3 1
 
7.
When someone abuses the Podcast system or blogging system to just bitch about everything that's wrong with the world to them that day. Also common in women.
Rachel: Have you heard my new Podcast?
Brandon: It had better not be anything like your blogs, because I can't take another one of your bitchcasts...
by Hextacy March 09, 2007
1 1