1. A sheet or two of bog roll
placed carefully so as to uniformly cover the surface of the water in the bowl of a toilet prior to dropping the kids off
. Usually employed by those who do not enjoy the sudden cold, wet sensation on their ringpiece
following displacement of water by a free-falling, splash-inducing turd
2. Also used when a desperate bogward-rush
to a public convenience results in the trousers coming down at the same time the turtle's head
begins to appear and the discovery is made that some bastard left nessie
waiting for you. Mitigates against the prospect that splashback
will include someone elses faecal matter or piss
. It is considered wise to favour more sheets in this scenario.
1. I had an absolute monster on the way and it was a cold morning so I opted for some anti-splash paper.
2. There was no holding it back, I had already locked the door and me kecks
were round me ankles when I noticed a previous signature loitering in the pan. Anti-splash paper was the only way to keep it personal.