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11 definitions by Herr Doktor Grauwolf

 
1.
John 11:35. The shortest verse in the King James version of the Bible. Translated from the original Greek, εδακρυσεν ο ιησους, literally meaning, "Jesus wept.". Perhaps the sole verse in the Bible that people actually "get" without guidance. Rarely open to interpretation, only cross-reference. Having said that, what many don't understand is that it may sum up the entire New Testament in two simple words. (Note: emphasis on the word, may.)
When someone starts to say what the Gospel according to John really meant when it said, "Jesus wept.", just walk away! It could be a money scam. Caveat emptor.
by Herr Doktor Grauwolf February 14, 2009
 
2.
a frightening and very unattractive transvestite of the promiscuous persuasion
Did you see that Harlett O'Scara? Whew, that's one double ugly tranny!
by Herr Doktor Grauwolf December 31, 2008
 
3.
an individual, typically male, who incessantly second guesses the outcome of military battles recreated on television. Often addicted to the History Channel, has never served in the armed services, but is an active member of the NRA, an avid gun collector, yet doesn't hunt. Can be somewhat oblivious to spousal interests or needs.
Armchair mercenary: "Bla, bla, bla, then you know honey, if Brigadier General Warren's scouts hadn't found Little Round Top undefended, then Colonel Vincent wouldn't have led his brigade up the hill and set up a picket line. If General Lee's troops had just arrived there, say, just 10 minutes earlier, 20 tops, the Battle of Gettysburg would have been a Confederate victory! The rest would be history! Hey, grab me another beer, would ya?"
Wife: "You are sooo smart, snookums! You're my favorite armchair mercenary! Get your own beer, but just one! Remember? I've got to go, uh..... go and visit my sick friend again."
Armchair mercenary: "Hey, what if the Rebel snipers had had Barrett 50s with match ammo? Where'd I put the remote?
by Herr Doktor Grauwolf January 25, 2009
 
4.
the socially deviant act of fornication with multiple farm animals. Considered by some, an irredeemable sin as it transcends common bestiality.
Bernie: "Forgive me Father for I have sinned. Since my last confession, I have engaged in flocculation with three sheep, big time. But only once."
Padre: "My son, for you, you sick little bastard, there can be no salvation!"
by Herr Doktor Grauwolf January 19, 2009
 
5.
ersatz rockabilly music; an affectation of rockabilly relying upon an exaggerated, overly repetitive "hiccup" combined with slick, often overdubbed recording techniques lacking the verve or raw, energetic talent and drive of the original rockform
DJ: Hey Dude, Bobby Vee's "Rubber Ball" was total mockabilly! Its even had symphonic backup and Jersey chicks singing "bouncy, bouncy"!
Dude: Whaa? Violins? Not fiddles? Northern chicks? Uncool, daddio!
by Herr Doktor Grauwolf January 15, 2009
 
6.
A toy top invented by Moses for young boys to have something else to play with while healing from their bris milah.
Momma, give Bernie
his dradle already! Such a screaming
whakkenweiner! So, you want him suffering ODD*, too?
by Herr Doktor Grauwolf December 15, 2008
 
7.
the sudden and devastating shrinking of a writer's self-worth after they submit a new word to the Urban Dictionary and are rejected. May affect male organs if severe.
Old professor Wilhelm submitted a great new word to the Urban Dictionary and all he got was rejection and subsequent neologatrophy. Poor sod gots nothin' but snow peas for testicles, now!
by Herr Doktor Grauwolf January 17, 2009