It is first necessary to obtain an extra long, sharp hook. Bait the hook with really good grass or wheat. Go to a cow pasture and drop the hook, with the other end connected to the hitch of your truck. Floor it when you get a bite. Then drag the cow away from the farmer with the shotgun after he sees the atrocious acts you're commiting on his livestock
Cletis: OW, there be a shotgun pellet in my ass
Claude: Shouldna gown cow fishin'