6 definitions by HazyKushen

Top Definition
Someone with a nice face, but an ugly body; typically refers to the standard funerary practice of leaving only the top portion of the casket open.
"Check out that half couch!"
"Who?"
"Half couch! Like body bad or carface. He has a face, but look at has body. He has no shoulders and that weird skinny person belly flab. If he was dead, you'd only want the top of the casket open, so he's a half couch."
by HazyKushen May 18, 2016
Used to refer to someone who has an attractive face, but an unattractive body. In ancient Greece, a herm (from Hermes) was a long standing block of stone on top of which was carved a man's head. These blocks were otherwise unshaped, but included the frequent presence of genitalia.

Extended in contemporary usage to include members of both sexes and all genders, the word is meant to indicate that the only distinguishing and redeemable features of a particular individual are their face and their genitals.
"Dude, did you see how beautiful that girl was?"
"Bro, she's a fucking herm!"
"A what?"
"A herm... you know, a carface, a body bag--nice face, ugly body."
by HazyKushen May 18, 2016
"Hentai-pre-Rule 34 Theory" states that for every conceivable subject about which porn has inevitably been produced, hentai portraying such acts has existed prior to.
Dee: "I saw a video of a dude in a superman outfit literally raping a llama"

Dum: "Dude, there was hentai of that shit 16 years ago. Haven't you heard of 'Hentai-pre-Rule 34 Theory'?"
by HazyKushen July 05, 2011
A forward, energetic, and electric form of rhythm & rhyme. To rock is to rouse, to roll is to ravish, and to ride the thunder is to raise up the soul.
Man: Let's rock & roll, baby

Woman: Take me!
by HazyKushen April 09, 2010
Those most misunderstood being.
Christian: My God is the one true God. He's his own father and son. See, I'm obviously cooler than you guys because I can grasp that concept.

Jew: Fakakta!

Buddhist: We are all God. We are all Buddha.

Hindu: Well, we're pantheists, but we represent the one true name as having multiple avatars, or manifestations, so people think we're polytheists. We're not.

Moslem: Ayallluahee! You are all infidels and must die. But, being righteous, so must I. You know, virgins *poke, poke*.

Atheist: Fuck god!

Me (sighing): You're all wrong...
by HazyKushen April 09, 2010
An androgynous attention-seeker whose intelligence doesn't exceed beyond the kindergarten level. Often times, wrestlers will 'jack' themselves up on steroids and amphetamines to become tough(-ish), causing their genitalia shrink to unsatisfactory sizes. However, this does not prevent them from grabbing and touching other wrestlers' genitalia or having their own touched by those same wrestlers. Perhaps, in knowing of the other wrestler's shrinkage, and thus lack of a satisfactory sex life, they engage in genitalia grabbing, so as to sexually sooth each other. This is debatable, however, as they may already be predisposed to homosexuality, thus explaining their aggrandized androgyny.
Person A: Dude, did you see that hairless bi grab that other hairless bi's junk? They're totally fucking homo.

Person B: No, they're 'wrestlers' and they're wrestling.

Person A: Oh, so is that what they're calling it these days? Call it what you want, bro, but they seem to me like a bunch of butt pirates, glorifying the simulation of mutual masturbation.
by HazyKushen April 08, 2010
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