1 definition by Hatfield

Top Definition
Noun, adjective. Derived from City+idiot. Someone from the city who's utterly crippled by an inability to survive outside city limits or comprehend any merit or logic in rural life or people. A classic cidiot cannot read a map, is terrified of "rednecks" (anyone the cidiot percieves to be rural is a redneck) and cannot take directions. The cidiot will typically say asinine things in conspicuous places to apparently deliberatly embarrass themselves. For instance, at a livestock show, "oooh my, that cow needs to be milked!" upon seeing a Bull's scrotum. Or, at the goat show, "oh my, how can you cut off that poor little goat's ears!" upon seeing a LaMancha goat. (the LaMancha is bred earless) They regard rural people as servants and assume anyone who doesn't wear susncreen and loafers has an i.q. of 1oo or below. They tend to dress inappropriatly, often wearing flip flops on "hikes", which are usually awkward walks down state highways which they consider "country roads," or expensive high end outdoor gear for a country picnic. Cidiots can be found entangled in their own fishing lines along streams or hovering alongside farmers' markets, asking really dumb questions like, "do the mushroom trees grow big around here?" Some cidiots have been known to break into rural homes off season, saying, "I saw the sign for fresh produce! Do you have any arugala now?", when there is 4 feet of snow on the ground. They generally are not dangerous unless they are attempting to use firearms, atv's, woodstoves, or chainsaws in which case, they should be immediatly disabled for the sake of the general community.
Many cidiots have temporarily migrated to semi rural (read "suburban") settings to try their hand at organic farming after reading one of several books on Dexter cows, beekeeping, raising llamas or sheep dairying, but they usually retreat after a very short time. They generally loathe manual labor and tend to surround themselves w/ a variety of cidiot-enablers who help them figure out how to use a woodstove, a hammer, a drill, and other basics. The cidiots never actually develop these skills, however, as the enablers usually end up just doing their jobs for them, often free of charge. Much has been done to educate these enablers so that they would detach themselves, forcing the cidiots to become more self sufficient, but alas, the cycle continues, even now.
"That friggin' cidiot thinks we eat our goats' ears. I'm gonna tell them we fry them in butter!"

"That damned cidiot asked me to pose for a picture with a pitchfork. I'm gonna get seriously Amish on their asses if they do it again"

"check out the cidiot: he's right on the electric fence and he hasn't figured it out yet!"

"that cidiot is holding the shovel backwards!"

"lookout! The cidiot's on the atv! Run for cover!"

A woman climbs out of her mercedes convertable, wearing a pair of strappy heels and starts videoing the locals. "oh god, this chick is such a cidiot!"

"damn! she runs pretty fast for a cidiot! Graceful! You think I scared her off w/ the chainsaw?"

by Hatfield October 30, 2007

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