The notion that homosexuals should be able to define their identities by something other than sexual preference.
Post-gay types ought to be comfortable in gay ghetto situations, lest they suffer some sort of internalized homophobia, while realizing that many ghettoized gays are tasteless loosers.
Post-gays are out of the closet and care about gay rights and gay issues. Their stance on identity and culture is a reaction against the fetishization of gay stereotypes by some self-proclaimed liberal types (such as faghags) as well as cultural sepratists (such as queers). They tend to refer to themselves as 'gay' and only invoke the word 'post-gay' in the presense of the tasteless losers who have co-opted the falsehood of a monolithic gay culture.
Post-gays also realize the history of the struggle for gay equality and know they their attitude can only exist in enviornments where gays are already integrated and accepted. It is only within these enviornments that they critique others.
Get rid of your affectations, you live in fucking NYC (or SF or Seattle or Paris or Berlin), and there are like 5 neighborhoods where gay couples regularly hold-hands, unless your only friends are stock brokers it's no big deal here, it's all about post-gay now!