16 definitions by Harris Bergstein

The superlative form of Jesus. (Comparative: "Jesus H. Christ" or "Sweeter Jesus.")
Sam: "Sweet Jesus in a smoking birchbark canoe!"
by Harris Bergstein December 22, 2006
The artful display of the bared nipples or cooter, typically while entering or exiting a limousine, possibly while accompanied by other tween queens or noted amateur pornographers, in the hopes that such displays of surgery-mangled teats or Cletus-ravage pissflaps will attract the fickle lens of an itinerant paparazzo, with the ultimate goal of garnering column inches in Entertainment Weekly. Historically, actresses and singers of dubious talent have had the dignity and self-respect to limit such displays to the centerfolds of men's magazines--where the graces of airbrushing and a little vaseline on the lens masks all manner of caesarean scars, razorburns, and waxrashes. If this trend continues, it is only a matter of a short span of time and a large pile of blow before the phrase "to go Lohando," in addition to the traditonal nip and quim slips, will also come to include deliberate public displays of one's horribly distended anal pucker and the televised insertion of specula into every unplumbed orifice. But hey, it still beats watching <I>Freaky Friday.</I>
Carlo: I think I might go Lohando, but I'm worried that these Daisy Dukes might interfere with my dangle.

Gustav: Is that really appropriate for a job interview?
by Harris Bergstein December 18, 2006
A device invented by George Lucas in The Empire Strikes Back.
Remember that one part where Billy Dee Williams calls up his buddy with the robotic bluetooth headphones and he goes and IMs Darth Vader, who's all like "L0LZ, 1 4/\/\ j00r f4t]-3r!!! PWN3|)!" That was awesome.
by Harris Bergstein December 22, 2006
1. Like a sitrep, but in a civilian / corporate context and, more specifically, describing a situation that has absolutely no silver lining.
WALT: Hey boss, looks like we have a big problem here.

JAMES: Gimme the shithap.

WALT: Well, it looks like the production line is down because of civil unrest in Thailand and when I tried to get in touch with the COO, he was freaking out about a dead prostitute in his hotel room.

JAMES: Not good.

WALT: Male prostitute.

JAMES: Really not good.

WALT: Potentially a Jonas brother.

JAMES: Top grade shithap, Walt. Get my chopper fueled for Phuket and keep up the good work.
by Harris Bergstein May 12, 2010
The culinary delight that results from riding the subway with your lunch in your back pocket. Kind of like a modern-day saddle steak.
My wallet felt a little softer than usual when I sat down on the L this morning and then I remembered I'd put a PBJ in my pocket. By the time I got to work, it was the perfect back-pocket panini, flat and warm. Only thing missing was grill marks.
by Harris Bergstein April 30, 2009
A form of cross-country training originally from Sweden, but adapted to a city environment. Like traditional backcountry fartlek, stoplight fartlek involves changing the tempo of the run, except instead of instinctually changing pace, the speed is governed by traffic and lights.
"I thought I'd take a leisurely jog around the park, but it turned into a stoplight fartlek when I tried to ride a greenwave and dodge a couple buses."
by Harris Bergstein July 15, 2008
An individual of Scandinavian descent. Also applicable to landlocked enclaves of Scandinavian emigrants, such as the entire state of Minnesota, even though these communities no longer choke their herring in the traditional fashion but instead rely on commercial canneries to pre-choke and pickle their fish.
Torvald: Hey, this bar got any Tuborg?
Barkeep: Sorry, we don't serve herring chokers here.
by Harris Bergstein December 22, 2006
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