A guy who:
1. Cares a lot about his appearance.
2. Has more pairs of shoes than his girlfriend.
3. Is not gay, but some may come to the conclusion that he is gay.
4. Watches Queer Eye for the Straight Guy
, or even 'the straight guy' was on that show.
5. Is Vanity Smurf
(Brainy Smurf's mushroom house; Brainy Smurf, Jokey Smurf, Vanity Smurf, Grouchy Smurf, and Smurfette are playing a game of kimps at the kitchen table)
Brainy: Vanity, you're so fruity. You must be homosexual!
Vanity: No, I'm not!
Smurfette: I agree with Brainy. You're so girly, sometimes I wanna smurf up my breakfast!
Vanity: No! I'm not gay!
Jokey: Then what are you?
Grouchy: I HATE METROSEXUALS!