6 definitions by Grande John

Top Definition
The act of making sweet love to a woman, waiting until she goes to sleep, defecating on her chest, taking a five dollar bill from her purse and then bolting from the area.
She was complaining to her friends that she had gone to bed with a new man and awakened to a large fresh pile of feces on her chest and that five dollars missing from her purse. Her friends were barely able to contain their laughter as they informed her that he had been the recipient of the mythical cleveland steamer.
by Grande John June 24, 2006
The erect phallus of a man that is about to be inserted into the brown-eye of another man/woman.
"I've got a present for you," Floyd said to his lover Timothy, "a poop seeking meat missile!"
by Grande John July 21, 2006
Sperm, semen, cum, jism, nut nectar, nut balm, man yogurt. The seminal fluid ejaculated by a man during orgasm.
After three strokes and a quiver, William sprayed his man salsa all over his inflatable lover.
by Grande John July 21, 2006
Prior to engaging in coitus with a deceased person, recently or otherwise; the act of inserting an already ignited road flare into any unsuspecting orifice to bring that specific region on the body back up to temperature before performing a hot beef injection on the aforementioned location of the human anatomy.
Klevin, "my hands are shaking so badly I cannot ignite the striker on the road flare".

Josh, "goddamnit, these days i can't get my girlfriend out of the food court at the mall, she's blimped up to the size of Nebraska and the only way I can get any action, besides covering her in flour and nailing one of the forty seven spots that are moist is to road flare dudes straight out of the cemetary...light the damn flare Klevin so I can get it on with this rotting, puytrifying corpse".....

Klevin "wow...you just enacted a road flare on a man from the early 1900's"......

Josh: "best action i've encounted since I turned twenty one!!!!!"
by Grande John January 16, 2009
The supposed definition of rap is "rhythm and poetry" which is particularly ironic since there is a complete lack of rhythm and poetry in this swill. It is also an insult of unspeakable proportions to classify it as music, which implies is has some resemblance to Mozart, Bach, Wagner, Beethoven and their contemporaries such as Otis Redding, The Beatles, Marvin Gaye, U2, etc, etc. Emo reeks of stale urine and donkey dumplings but nonethess is contains lyrics, sung by people and music produced by instruments played, albeit occassionally be people. Rap is characterized by one or more persons bellowing/yelling words usually completely out of synch with the accompanying sounds. Often rap contains no real lyrics, just profanity laden outbursts that are as a rule unintelligible. The content of this drivel is based around violence toward women, men, the handicapped and the elderly, the consumption of malt liquor, the ingestion of crack and degenerate acts with dead animals and week old donuts. Lets not forget the continual quest for "respect" by people who have none themselves and are the farthest thing from being deserved of any sort of respect. Often words that are not to be found in the dictionary or in the English language such as "gat" and "bling" and prevalant in this fecal matter masquerading as music.

Rappers and their fan base, ie, homies, gangstas, wannabes and the like, are known to have IQ levels substantially below what is considered the norm. The production of rap, and the enjoyment of rap requires absolutely no talent and or appreciation of. It has been stated before, but nonethess the greatest indicator of what rap really is, is that if you place the letter "c" in front of the word "rap" you arrive at "crap" which immediately invokes the image of a warm, fresh steaming turd which is the perfect representation of rap.
A rusty orange 82 Chevy nova, filled with wannabe g's, sputters by blaring rap at a decibel level that dwarfs a 747 o n takeoff.

Lloyd: "jesus christ, what are those idiotic fools listening to?"

Freeman: "i think it was some of that rap, but it sounded more like a retard badger with rabies got on a karaoke machine."

Lloyd: "a nutless baboon with only eye could make better music that that."
by Grande John November 08, 2006
To be in possession of everyday bad breath, that allows chronic halitosis to the extreme, appear to be "post dental cleaning mouth", when other people first glimpse or are irrevocably soiled....aka...(breathed upon) or have offended both the one and only almighty righteous higher power and satan himslelf,the instantaneouse thought that bulldozes itself through the cerebral cortex is one of abject disgust, self loathing, a complete and utter degredation of the known universe and or potential suicidal thoughts. When every single person unlucky enought to share personal space with you....post your breath searing and destroying their nasal cavities thinks....holy crap batman....the breath of that individual is a pristine example of toledo....and I'm not speaking of the city in Ohio....!!!!!
Josue: "cough...cough....gag...gag....barf...barf....jusus christ jose...your breath reeks as if you have been injesting burning garbage, raw feces, used tires and recently deceased newborn children.......damn...you my compadre and all.....but yo breath makes toledo look like a fresh egg roll from p.f. chang's...damn bitch...maybe you should gargle with some jp-5......perhaps jet fuel will get the skank out of yo mouth...."!!!!!
by Grande John January 16, 2009

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